funk

For some reason since Aunt Ruby died I have been in a serious funk.

Wouldn’t really call it depression, just some rather dark feeling that defies pigeonholes.

Part of it has to do with loosing the 2nd longest living relative in my family. My grandpa on the other side lived to be 98, and Ruby lived to 94, pretty close, but grandpa died almost 30 years ago. I was invincible and in my mid 40’s then. Now I am . . . not.

It is indeed it is the end of an era, but it is far more than that, I fear.

I am reminded of my own frailty. Not that I needed too much of a reminder.

I have friends and family who have all sorts of medical issues. The fact that I don’t have a serious illness that has been identified, does not give me much relief.

It is spring, but it is raining and cold.

We are going camping this weekend.
The weather will not be good, but it really is important that we go.
Way too many things have been going on of late to just ignore.
Camping will help me sort it out, and clear my head.
Maybe.

no answers

My friends are getting old.

My sister reminded me a bit ago that a lot of people my age are dying. I added that a lot who are younger than me are dying too, for that matter.

We hope to live long and strong, but we have no assurance of either. A friend has been falling a lot lately. Could be lots of different reasons. None of them are good.

This evening a friend called, could I come down and help move his mother in law. Mom might have had a stroke, she sure was not acting good. Moving her is moving dead weight. My friend has a trick back and his wife is about 5' tall. Not a good combination for moving heavy weights.

What will happen? None of us know. Grandma might pass in her sleep, which would be merciful, but it might not happen quickly. Indeed she felt better the next day.

Last night I helped my friend load Grandma's heavy recliner into his pickup. Today they loaded up and are on a 5 hour trip to take Grandma back to her home. They really cannot care for her any more, but putting a loved one into someone else's care is the hardest thing we ever have to do.

If she goes into some sort of nursing facility, it is likely that she will die a bit sooner than if they kept her at their (or her) home, but that time would be at the expense of their own health.

There are no easy answers any where.

My step father's birthday was a few days ago.
Dad was a pretty decent mechanic who would have found this "pickup" a bit over the top, even as he would have studied how it was done.
This rig was about 36" tall with the engine blocking all of the front view.
I am assuming it was not driven on the street!

digging

There was a light knock on the door.

Miriam and I had slept in our teardrop trailer, but I got up earlier than her and had gone into our daughters house to check email and news.

It was church day and everyone was getting a bit extra sleep. That was OK.

When I answered the door I was greeted by a handsome Navajo native american. Daughter's land is on a reservation, but not Navajo.

“Is Cliff up?” Cliff is my son-in-law, and no, he wasn't up.

“I had to put an old horse down last night and I need borrow Cliff's backhoe to dig a grave.”

I woke Cliff. It was raining and was not going to be a pleasant day to do what had to be done.

The trailer for the backhoe was there at the house, but the backhoe itself had been leant to another native friend. Cliff put on his work clothes, skipped church, and spent the day helping a man in distress.

We take church day pretty seriously. We avoid any extra work. We try to make it a day to stop and think and relax a bit, but it also a day to help others.

Christians, for the most part are not very useful to the rest of the world, sometimes we get in people's way (not to mention getting into their face).

Cliff has made good strong friendships of many of his native neighbors. I am impressed.

Kale, pretty healthy stuff!

gardening

This weekend we planted tomatoes and weeded strawberries.

The planting was the easy part. Prepping the dirt and getting the plants into the ground went well. But it was 28 or 29 degrees the night before with no promise that this is the end of frosts for the season. So, we put covers on all the plants, 55 in all.

For decades we have been using waxed paper “hot caps” for the purpose, but a few years ago some one invented a gizmo called “walls of water.”

It is a series of tubes that are filled with water, that modify the temp inside the structure. When they first came out I was not impressed, being sure it was an inventors gizmo and maybe not a gardeners.

But there are all sorts of studies to show that it works an works pretty well. So that is what we did. The problem is that it takes about 5 minutes to set each one in place and fill those tubes with water. At least it takes that long for us to do it!

But the job was done and now there are two long rows of tomatoes, along with a few pepper plants, growing ready for warm weather.

A couple days later I helped the nearby daughter dig the dandelions out of her strawberry beds. The two plants grow well together, that is the Dandelions grow with abandon, and eventually crowd out the strawberries.

But we dug out a big pile of weeds, replanted some of the berries and got it watered, ready for another season of good taste.

It was good.

I had a good time photographing these old earth movers.
Between then and now they were cut up for scrap and sent to the smelter, or China.
Glad I did not have to drive one of them, but they were colorful to photograph.

travel day

Today was travel day.

We are visiting a couple of daughters this week end. Mothers day is Sunday. We will have 4 or 5 mothers for brunch!

Packing was more complex this time. She did not get much done, so I choose a lot of her clothing, she is just not able to make those decisions right now, at least not quickly.

I asked her not to wear the old sweat pants and shirt she had on and war erupted, but later peace reigned and she change into the clothes I chose for her.

Next time, I think I'll do her packing and just answer her questions later. Most likely there will be few questions.

For a very long time we traveled with Leo, and this was the first trip without him (except for the trip home after we left him with daughter 4.

Strange feelings. Leo is still in my head and in my memory. I make sure I turn on the light before going into the downstairs bathroom, “just in case.” When I leave the door open for a minute, I expect to see him make a run for it. When I lay down for a nap, where is leo who would sleep beside my knees.

Tonight we sleep in the teardrop trailer and where will Leo sleep? Oh I forgot.

It is good to see the grand kids again. Alan will be 20 in a month or so, and his sister Amy (the youngest of my grandkids) will be 13 a week or so later.

Gas at $3 a gallon (and more), travel will be less frequent this year.

Maybe!

happy birthday sister

Today is my kid sister's birthday (I only have one sister).
Happy birthday sis.

Portrait of a Lady done by daughter 4 (Lia) when she was in college a long time ago.
I came across a couple of very thick folders of her work while moving my studio, and this was one of that I found.
She has made a good living as a graphic designer for about 25 years now.
I have popped buttons over her (and her sisters).

asparagus

This is Asparagus season here on the micro farm.

Our patch is not huge, but it provides about as much as we can eat. In fact we give some away at times.

Last week (Tuesday) I made some Asparagus cream soup. It was good, but for a cook that never made gravy or has any real knowledge about thickening things like soup, it was too thin. We ate it any way!

Wednesday, I made a thicker soup, added more asparagus, the soup left over from the day before and some sauteed tofu cubes. It was pretty good.

Thursday, I extended the soup base again, adding more asparagus and this time shell pasta.

Then I skipped the asparagus for a while, (but today we start over).

Until hot weather sets in, asparagus is a cool weather crop, we will have more than enough for soup every day.

It is sort of like my squash. Last year I had a bumper crop of winter squash. My favorite (butternut) grew in profusion and I still have a pile of them in the pantry.

Trouble is that I don't know too many ways to use them. I made squash soup a time or two, but it didn't ring too many bells. Baked squash is good sometimes, but some how I don't get to it often enough.

So I make pumpkin pies. I make them two at a time and for two people that is a lot of pie. Takes a good week to eat them both, but I force myself (haha).

It is a tough life. (But we eat well).

Aunt Ruby

This morning we lost my father's only sister.

Aunt Ruby was the 2nd of 5 children, my birth father being the oldest. One brother was 11 years younger than her but he was killed in a car accident about 15 years ago.

She was 94 2/3 years old. I live in the same town as her and have had a lot of good times with her and her family.

It was not unexpected, but we are never "ready" for that news.

Ruby grew up in Oklahoma during the depression and knew how to work and survive.

Once not too long ago someone was chiding her for always working. "Sit down and relax." " It is not in my nature," she said and she did not slow down until age forced her to.

Any good life should have had a bit of cane raising and Ruby did her part. I love her.