upside?

There are some upsides to this AD thing -- maybe.

For some time I have been planning on changing the door and window trim in our living/dining/kitchen area, and then repainting the walls and ceiling. This fall seems to be the perfect time.

Originally our strange little hobbit house had narrow mahogany trim on the doors and windows that was stained dark -- that was the look of the 70’s. Some time ago I decided that to strengthen the “craftsman” style of the house, I would go to wide painted trim, but keep the hand made dark mahogany doors. Our daughter Linda helped us on the color scheme. I designed and did the mill work in my shop, and all of the house is done except for the great room.

So last night I mentioned that I was going to do some tile repair next week in the kitchen, followed by trim and paint in the weeks to come. The idea of the trim color has a sticking point for some time. Some days she thinks it is a brilliant idea, other times she thinks it is the worst idea ever.

In the rest of the house it is painted “reliable white” and on the days she thinks it is the worst idea ever she is sure it will not go well with our white leather furniture.

It is the swiftness of her changes and the lack of memory of what we decided earlier that makes the whole thing tricky.

I will go ahead with my plans, but have her help pick a color that she can like all the time. I would prefer a consistent color through the house, but it is not worth a fight for sure.

(And wasn’t it our esteemed former vice president and philosopher Spiro Agnew who said that “consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds” -- hmm).

As the disease goes on I am learning how to cope. I think I am getting wiser -- most of the time. This loss of consistency, based on memory of yesterday’s decisions, is a major problem, if there are any proposed changes in the routine of life.

Each day is a new day. What we decided or talked about yesterday is gone and we start over.

And that is the hidden upside to this disease, if there is one. Yesterday she was very angry with me, but with breath taking speed, her mood changes and her viewpoints along with it.

So, I will work on being a bit wiser, or I could just forget the whole project.

fall bounty

This was a good year for our kind of grapes.

I hear that the mild summer was not so good to the wine grapes, but mine were good.

It was the biggest crop we have had. Right now there are 80 quarts of new juice on the shelves. When I realize that is 20 gallons, it seems more! Add that to last years juice which we haven’t started to drink yet! We are still drinking 2006 juice.
Whatever we do this winter we will drink grape juice.

Maybe I will make some grape jelly. I have done jam, but not jelly.

While I was juicing the grapes, Miriam was shelling corn. I bought seed that was sold as an old indian variety of corn for flour. The stalks were 9 feet high, the ears were long, the colors are many: red, yellow, white, black, blue and shades every way.

Neighbor Terry took it to his place of work (he works at a large corn seed producing company) and got them properly dried, which is important if you are going to keep them in storage.

It was not easy shelling the corn, so as I have come to do I looked on line for a “corn sheller”. There was an old article from Mother Earth News about a guy who made his own corn sheller.

He used a hunk of 2 by 6, made holes with a chisel and put nails in to the center to shuck the kernels when the cob was twisted.

It seemed to me that a hunk of ABS pipe would work just as well. The ears were quite uniform in size, so I found a hunk of 2” pipe, drilled 4 holes and put in screws.

Wow what a difference, and the kernels, for the most part, slid down the pipe into the bucket.

We ended up with about 5 gallons of corn kernels. But since it is multi colored, I am wondering what color the flour will be! Next week I will find out.

I like corn bread and corn dodgers and I put a good bit of corn flour in our pancakes and waffles. Now I can have corn flour from my own place, to go with my grape juice!

My tiny farm amazed me this year.

I talked to the Doctor’s nurse. Who consulted with doctor and who ordered 2 150 mg pills a day. So, she will have a bit more powerful medication. Today was a bit testy, we will hope the added dosage helps.

pills

It is always amazing what a little pill can do (or can’t do!)

I asked the doctor, about a year ago, if we could put miriam on an anti depressant to control her anger a bit.

Miriam has always been the most easy going woman imaginable, but with AD, that sometimes changes.

So Doc gave us a prescription.

It was “dad’s blood pressure medicine, that mom takes,” as my daughters said.

Miriam took them for about a year and it made her a lot easier to live with. But there were some wild side affects.

So when I saw the Doc a month ago I asked about changing her to the same version of anti depressant that I take. I said that since I take one pill twice a day, I sometimes forgot the 2nd pill, so I had some extras.

That was fine, so we did just that. The side affect that bothered me went away away and we were doing pretty well.
So last week I called to get her a new prescription.

I asked the nurse to raise the dosage from 100 to 150 whatever. The nurse was really skeptical that I would dare make such a request, but I assured her that I had talked about it with the doc and we were on the same page.

So, I went to get the new pills. But there was a difference. I take 100 twice a day, and they gave her 150 to take once.

Miriam does not know what she is taking. I tell her it is a blood pressure medicine, but it is like the one I take, and she knows I take an anti depressant.

But right away I noticed a lot more anger. I would say something and very uncharacteristic she would shout back.

Then I decided to give her another 100 at night, making her osage 250 for the day. I called the Doc again and talked to her skeptical nurse, who had to ask the doc of 200 a day was ok. I told her we had miriam on 200 for the last month and it worked fine, and that a change upwards in dosage was from my conversation with the doctor.

It will be straightened out, but I am still in awe of how little it takes to change our attitudes. I was feeling really down and blue a while back, so I checked and I had missed several times of taking my pill. So I took it and feel good again.

Miriam does not know what she is taking, I tell her it is part of her blood pressure medicine.

Still the whole thing of a tiny pill changing us so much amazes and frightens me a bit.

I am so thankful for a good doctor and some pills that do what needs to be does.

sleep

Sleep is an interesting thing.

I read that as you age you need less sleep.

I have also read that as you get older you should get more sleep. Hmm.

My sleep patterns are enough to irritate my bed mate, but that is how it is.

I sleep about 5 or 6 hours at a stretch. It has been that way for a long time. If I go to bed early, I just wake up early. If I go to bed late I wake up at the same time.

What irritates my mate is that I sometimes wake up at 3 or 3:30 and get up for a hour or two and then go back to bed. When I do that, I do sleep later.

Miriam is a good sleeper. She can go to sleep early and sleep late. If the dog gets uncovered (he is virtually hairless and sleeps under a blanket), it is Miriam who goes and covers the dog.

If I go, I will be awake by the time I get back and will stay up.

At this stage when I sleep is not a huge issue for me. I take a nap or two during the day if I am short on sleep. Miriam occasionally does.

So, for all of you out there who sleep soundly and sleep hours and hours at a time, I envy you, sorta.

To those of us who have weird sleep patterns, we are part of a hidden community, I guess.

As for me, I am going to take a nap later today!

winter part 2

Winter is not my favorite season.

I struggle with depression and it deepens in winter. When I mentioned this to my doctor, she said that we might want to up the dosage on my anti depressant this winter. That might be a good idea.

Years ago, before Texas, we took up cross country skiing just so there would be something to look forward to each winter. Since Texas the skis sit an taunt.

When I was working I hated winter. Mud, cold houses, freezing supplies. Years ago PolySeamSeal first came out and it was in a tube. We used to carry a tube of it in our coat pocket, so it would not freeze in the tool box.

While we are healthy now (Miriam is fine except for her memory), but how long can I do all of this? No one knows, of course, but this year I can and I fully expect to keep it going next year.

This year I got behind on my garden and the weeds overshadowed some of my plants. I apologized to my neighbor who has the finest looking lawn in town. He laughed: “That show you were doing things that were more important.”

I liked his take.

Mom said that if I kept the garden in good shape until the hot part of summer, then let it go, that I might have trouble finding the produce but it would be there. I know that is not the best way to do it, but sometimes that is how it works.

This year I plated two hills of Pumpkins on the edge of the corn. It was too close and the corn was spaced too close and the pumpkin did not do well, I thought. But as we were digging potatoes we found a very fine 10” pumpkin. The only one for the year!

But as I look over my acre I can see an endless list of things that need to be done, or things that would make it nicer some way. But there are budget limitations and there are time limitations. I think I like both of those.

Miriam was good help this week. She can work with me, but she cannot do a task alone.

One thing she is good at is telling me what needs to be done. Our mail box post was driven into a few years ago and it is way off of straight now.

We hardly ever go by that she does not remind me that it needs to be fixed.

“When it falls I will fix it.”

She is not amused.

winter preparation

Grandma would be proud

Yesterday we dug potatoes, enough for the winter. Reds, yellows and whites. Good spuds.

Last week I harvested the flour corn. My neighbor, a vp in a corn seed company, took my corn, still on the cob, in burlap bags to their drying sheds to get it properly dried. I do have good neighbors.

This is supposed to be a very old strain of Indian corn (Anasazi, Flour Corn from Seeds of Change in Santa Fe). The kernels have lots of wild wonderful colors, I suppose the flour will be a shade or grey! I will save seed from the nicest and most colorful for next year.

Today we get started putting firewood into the shed. We have enough there now to get by if we were very careful, but I like to go into winter with the wood shed full (about 4 cords). That is a bit over a two year supply. I collect firewood all year and my wood lot is bulging.

Yesterday we picked up a big trailer load of oversized pallets made with good thick lumber, that will heat us for a few months.

Then I will blow out the water lines on the garden side of our property, coil the hoses and put them away with the sprinklers and get ready for winter. There is no end of things to do.

With all of this activity, I only put in a few studio hours this week. I guess that is how it works, there will be lots more time this winter.

Garrison Keillor once said that if you want to enjoy a Minnesota summer, you have to put in a Minnesota winter. In a nutty way I agree with Garrison.

I know a lot of life is being content with what you have, but I am one who thinks summer is sweeter because of winter, and that putting food and firewood up for winter is a good thing.

a "wedding"

We went to a wedding Sunday.

There was a bride and groom, attendants and bridesmaids, two or three flower girls, a little boy doing something, candles, an in your face photographer or two and a sit down dinner at the end of it all.

Not unusual I guess.

Except that the attendants were the sons and sons in law of the bride and groom, and the girls were daughters and sons wives, plus the bride’s sister.

The whole thing had all of the trappings of a wedding, but it was actually a 50th wedding anniversary celebration, along with a repeating of the marriage vows. The family are hispanic, and old friends of ours. Our kids grew up together.

The preacher spoke in spanish and another translated into english. The groom sang to his bride, the sons sang a duet to their parents (all did very well with it too).

Our kids grew up and went to school together. The groom told me that he and I were very good friends (we are) but that we do not see each other too often, (true).

I think some of the best friendships fit into that category.

As a photographer I went to more weddings than I care to think about, but this is the first like this.

I told granddaughter Emily about the ceremony. She thought I should do something like that with “grandma”. I said: “No.” She said: “even for grandma?” “No, even for grandma.”

Her suggestion was cute and not offensive at all, but I promise you I can and will love Miriam without going through a wedding again.

We are throughly married, and I like it.

male friends

We once were photographers In a smallish town with a largish small college. I photographed every one on campus several times a year, student, faculty and staff.

We were on a first name basis with hundreds of people, but during that 20 odd year period we developed very few real friendships.

We guys have trouble with close friends, male friends in particular. We just don’t make many. In fact I have read that if a guy has two real close male friends in a lifetime, he was doing well, and anything above 2 puts you in a high realm. (Jesus had 12 friends, but only three were really close).

When we went to Texas I met Carl. He was a dairy farmer (and a closet millionaire). We started spending time together going and doing. Before long we were very close friends. We could finish each others sentences, and often did.

We went to Belize and to Mexico on church mission projects with high school and college kids. We slept on floors and in king beds in fancy hotels. (Carl was the chairman of his local school board and there was a school board chairman convention each year. I would go along and sleep in the extra bed!)

I really missed Carl when I came back to Idaho. He promised he would come see us, but Idaho is a LONG way from texas. We went back a couple times, but now that is off budget both time and money wise.

I met David here in Idaho. I went to see him. “I am looking for a friend.” I began. I do not know if that is the proper way to start a friendship but that is how that one began.

That was a dozen years ago. We have hiked, we have camped, we have shot the bull, we have spent countless hours together doing all sorts of things, and that friendship has deepened.

He did not move away to get away from me (at least that is what he says), but his wife’s parents needed care and since David and wife had just retired, it seemed obvious, to every one but the Davids, I fear.

I am not sure, at this age, that I have the patience to develop another real close male friendship.

But I will read, and I will remember.

Thank you Carl

Thank you David

Bless you each.

jim and holly

In the last year and a half or so I have done a lot of work on the remodel of our church. When I was a kid this church was one of tradesmen and farmers. Now there are a few electricians and a couple of old construction generalists. Most are computer geeks of one sort or other, it seems.

I am one of those old generalist guys. We are the last of a breed I am told.

When the remodel project began I was interested in protecting Miriam’s stained glass window, and I volunteered to do the work so I could protect that window.

And I had the skills necessary. Lots of cabinet skills, tile, painting, some carpentry, carpet, and so on.

It has been a labor of love for the most part, but now I am getting tired (and we are almost finished with this phase, and the money that was raised for the work has been spent).

Any way, last summer as I was working Jim showed up (this is the same Jim we lost last christmas). He walked with a cane, but he had that million dollar smile. He offered me a envelop.

“I cannot help, so this is my part.” It was a check, large enough to be serious, but not so large as to mess with my life or head! I was impressed with his smile and his attitude. I used it as part payment on my new MacBook.

A while back Holly (the same one I mentioned a couple of weeks ago) asked me if I would accept a gift for the work I had done, a gift of appreciation. I told her that I thought a big part of christian grace was receiving grace, as well as giving it, and yes, from her I would.

I mentioned her words to David and pretty well forgot about it.

Today as I came into church, Holly caught me. “I want to talk to you after church.”

I am not an official deacon now, but the deacon of the month was having trouble getting bodies, so he asked me to take the offering.

As luck would have it, Holly and her family were sitting at the back of the section I was serving. As I came by she pushed a folded paper into my hand and smiled. I thanked her, not knowing what she had given me, but some how remembering our conversation.

When I returned to my seat I looked at the paper. It was a check. Like Jim’s it was enough to be taken seriously, but not enough to corrupt my life!

I told her later that, more than anything, it was the motive of her gift (and Jim’s before) that was most appreciated, and that I was humbled by her gift.

When you do a huge volunteer project, it is easy to think no one notices and no one cares. I know they do notice and Holly showed me that they also care.

Soon I’ll post a series of pictures of the remodel and Miriam's stained glass window.

home

Ahh, we are home.

A trip that started out to be a long weekend and ended up two weeks is over. We are back in our cozy/nutty idaho house.

Leo was not sure about it all and still hasn’t settled into his usual bed, but he will adapt.

Because my house is so nutty (and sits 4’ into the ground) the temp was not too cold, but a good fire warmed it up quickly.

When we leave on a trip I often turn off the water heater, but I did not this time, do we arrived to a tank of hot water.

I remember when we were going to graduate school in Texas. By no means was Texas home, but after 3 grueling days on the road, (about 1600 miles) we were so glad to be in our tiny apartment. It may not have been “home” but getting there was so wonderful.

This house has been our home a long long time, it is truly home and it is so good to be here again.

By the way, it is forecast to snow tonight! If it is measurable it will set a new record!

barn sour

Yesterday Miriam and I went to the Portland Ikea store.

I am always amazed and intrigued by good Swedish design.

We did not have any extra money, which is the time to go looking, I guess.

If you have never been to a Ikea store, it will take you a couple hours just to stroll through the displays.

We saw clever sinks and vanity tops, boxes and chairs. There were glasses of all sorts, and stainless steel that seemed endless.

When we walked out I had a garlic press. With that kind of frugality, we stopped at the food court by the front door. Two cinnamon rolls for $2. They were pretty good and held us till we got back to daughters house.

The day before we went to Powell’s Book Store. I found a couple of good books on book making, so we sat down while I looked them through pretty careful, even made some notes.

We left a birthday card for granddaughter Jessica who will be 15 in a bit over a week.

We have had some really cold temps on this trip, ice on the tear the last couple of nights, but we have slept very warm and cozy.

Linda’s neighbor was sure it was foolhardy for us to sleep in the trailer, but we did just fine (thanks to a good wool blanket we borrowed from Arline).

But the idea of going home is wonderful.

If I were a horse they would say I was “barn sour.”

portland

We are in Portland Oregon this week.

There are a lot of things back home that need to be done. Firewood cut and in the wood shed; garlic planted; potatoes dug; flour corn and beans brought in to dry, but when you think of the long run, being with a family trumps.

Our youngest daughter and our 2nd oldest granddaughter (Lia and Emily) live here in Portland. Lia works for a Moonstruck Chocolates as the art director. http://www.moonstruckchocolate.com/ She art directed or designed most of the graphics on that page, and if you notice on one page the chocolate has a name on it: “emily”!!

When we visit we get chocolate!

Emily attends a private high school and takes the bus and train each day to and from school. There is a parent teacher meeting and Lia and I will go. I would love to talk to her teachers. (“Emily is bright and capable, do not let her get away with sloppy work” that would come from grandpa).

In the northwest Portland is famous as the place it always rains. That title is shared with Seattle, though it does not ALWAYS do anything. In fact they can have serious droughts as well.

Dallas and Portland get about the same amount of rain. A 4 or 5 inch rain can fall in 30 minutes in Dallas and take weeks in Seattle or Portland.

Any way it is fall and the mood is cloudy and grey, but not too cold.

We parked our teardrop trailer under an old apple tree in Lia’s yard and made ourselves right at home.

Miriam keeps wondering when we are going home, but I work at keeping her happy, and content. I give her lots of hugs and compliments. Like the rest of us, she reacts to love.

Leo the dog actually belongs to Lia and Emily, and he feels right at home here.

Tomorrow while Lia is working and Emily is in school, Miriam and I will go visit Powell’s books. I have heard it said it is the largest book store I the world. We go to the one in a nearby superb. Used and new books are shelved together by topic.

A true bookliophiliac will go nuts there. We will spend a happy time and even if we don’t buy anything it is so much fun.

I had an uncle who lived less than a mile from Lia's house. My mother's brother, he was a dentist and a real fine guy. He fell out of a tree he was trimming (he had no business being there, but that is another story) which brought on head trauma and early Alzheimer’s.

He died when we were still in Texas. She died a few years later. They were really good people. I wish I could go visit with them.

"I know . . "

We’ve been away from home a week.

Up till now it has gone pretty well. Today the trance was broken. It was shower day, but she refused to shower, then she agreed but did not.

Short of starting a ruckus I backed off and let it go.

We had planned on going to church this morning, but I think we will stay here and watch church on TV. That will take some persuading but I think I can pull it off.

All of this reminds me that change is not good for her.

Arline (daughter) and I were gone the other day, when we came back, Miriam was sitting in a lawn chair, purposely not looking at us.

I went over to talk to her and she was genuinely unhappy. “I figured out what you are going to do with me!” She exclaimed.

“Really.” I said, knowing that we had not even talked about any change.

“What are we going to do with you?”

“You are going to move me up here.” We did think of that a few years ago, but it is not an on table discussion point now. 


So, when I assured her that we would live a long while in our own home, she was so grateful, she smiled her sad puppy smile and hugged me like I had saved her life.

It ain’t always fun.

candy store

Today I was the kid in the candy store.

Daughter 1 has been a serious fiber artists for years, beginning in high school, and before, when she learned to sew her own clothes.

Any way for a lot of years she has been very serious about quilting. I don’t know a lot of quilters, but from what I gather, she is more typical than not. Her fabric shelves groan under the weight of her "palette."

She showed me her cache. Boxes of neatly ironed and folded fabric pieces, mostly cottons, separated by colors. She gave me instructions to go through and when I found one I thought would make a good book cover, to cut off enough for a book or two.

So I did, and did and did.

I was intoxicated by all of these choices of wonderful fabrics. One series I was especially fond of, and she told me I should be, because they were the most expensive in her collection!

Then I mentioned that I planned to go to 2nd hand stores and find some worn leather clothing to use for book covers.

Her eyes lit up. She sent me on an errand to find a plastic tote. It was full of leather pieces. Pieces from coats and pants she found here and there. She had made a series of stick horses years ago and had used this leather for those horses.

Now she has moved on and I became the owner of that box of leather. She even had a skirt and coat made of Ultra-suede. Ahh the queen of imitation leathers. That piece will cover a LOT of books.

And she taught me how to dye leather with Kool Aid to get a larger variety of colors.

But she had one request: she wants a book made a half page size (5 ½ by 8 ½) with leather spine cover and a beautiful embossed paper on the cover. With pleasure I will make that book!

There are a lot of things that get an artist to thinking and creating but having a supply of new materials is high on the list.

I think I might come down with “fiber diabetes.”