my aunt

The day I was born I had two aunts.

My father was the oldest child with his sister being next (followed by three more boys). My mom was the oldest child and her sister was born when mom was 12, one of those little sunrises!

I still have two aunts, seventy some years later.

Aunt Ruby is 93. When she had her 90th birthday party, she said it was her last party and her last year, that she would die before the next birthday, but she did not and now 3 and a half years later she is still with us.

I remember her as being full of energy, a person who never stopped doing something all the time (“it is against my nature to slow down” I remember her saying). She and her husband had a lot of rocks in their life, but had a lot of very devoted years at the end.

Uncle Chet (he was younger than Aunt Ruby and when they first started going together, I am told that my father, Ruby’s brother, did not like Chet any to much, and called him: “The Kid.”)

A few years ago Chet went to see the doc and they decided his arteries or veins or whatever it is that plugs up (remember I am an artist/craftsman and not remotely medical). Chet was otherwise very healthy, so they recommended a by pass surgery. It took a few months but that surgery killed Chet, and they were miserable months. There is a lesson there I think.

Before Chet had his surgery they had rented a suite in a retirement home. But Chet never actually lived there. Ruby has though. She enjoyed the retirement home as there was always people around to talk to. Some people like solitude and revel in aloneness, others are petrified of being alone, and Auntie is in the last category.

But at 93, she is not able to take care of herself as she should and did. So a week ago her son and daughter in law moved Ruby into their house.

Tom and Kathy’s house is the one that used to be Ruby’s house. Right after she sold it, they made a few changes and Ruby was not pleased, now some years later major changes have been made. I am not sure how she is adjusting to that.


But the biggest thing is that she is away from her friends.

Kathy is one of the most wonderful women in the whole world. Her heart is bigger than she is, and she has been a caregiver for many years (for pay!), so Ruby is well taken care of.

Tom is one of my favorite cousins (dare I say that when I am so bent against saying one of my daughters is a favorite -- I’ll try!). He is hard headed, opinionated, a total redneck, and one of favorite souls!

But I think the end is closer for Ruby than we might wish. She has often said that she just wanted to die and my guess is that being alone so much will increase those thoughts. Today Miriam and I will stop to see her for a bit. My sister will visit often. My other cousins won’t make it so often.

Ruby was my mom’s best friend before mom was introduced to Ruby’s brother, who became my father.

Mom loved Ruby like a sister, she has been a good aunt for a very long time.