About 1970
Gratitude #83 - Sweet Biddies!
11 years ago
Friday, January 11, 2008
Once not too many years ago, Jim had helped someone and had been taken advantage of in the process. He complained in the low key way that was his.
“I am not going to help people any more.” He said.
“Yes you will,” I replied. “You will be a bit careful, but you will help people and you will be taken advantage of again, because that is who you are.”
He grinned back at me, he knew I was right.
Back in the 40’s when we were kids, we were all pretty poor, but some were poorer than others. Jim’s family was still fighting the depression, and I think that poverty and the subtle treatment from people who thought they had more, shaped Jim in ways he could not possibly have known.
One family member said that if Jim hadn’t given everyone a good deal, he would be a millionaire. Another said that whatever Jim did, he never took advantage of anyone. I teased him often that if he wasn't so honest he would have a lot more money. He just grinned.
That is his legacy.
This is part of the tribute I will give at his service Saturday.
“I am not going to help people any more.” He said.
“Yes you will,” I replied. “You will be a bit careful, but you will help people and you will be taken advantage of again, because that is who you are.”
He grinned back at me, he knew I was right.
Back in the 40’s when we were kids, we were all pretty poor, but some were poorer than others. Jim’s family was still fighting the depression, and I think that poverty and the subtle treatment from people who thought they had more, shaped Jim in ways he could not possibly have known.
One family member said that if Jim hadn’t given everyone a good deal, he would be a millionaire. Another said that whatever Jim did, he never took advantage of anyone. I teased him often that if he wasn't so honest he would have a lot more money. He just grinned.
That is his legacy.
This is part of the tribute I will give at his service Saturday.
Jim, my friend
This was taken a few years ago. He had cancer, but it was behaving pretty well. This is the grin and unashamed good sense that we all loved in him.
He was a great friend.
friday evening
I went to Staples this morning to get ink for my printer.
When I reached In my pocket for my billfold, it wasn’t there. So I headed back home and discovered that my billfold had been in my pants pockets that Miriam had just washed.
So, today, among other things, I laundered money!
Tomorrow is the big day. I will be at the church early to look after the flowers that will be delivered at 9. I will lead my discussion group, try to stay awake in church.
I will grab a fast lunch and a nap and be back to the church at 2:30 to unlock ready for the service at 3:30. About 7 or 8 I should be able to sit down and rest.
This is way more than Jim would have preferred. While setting up the tables I knew what he would say: “You are going to way too much trouble here, Dave.”
One old friend flew in from Massachusetts, others are coming from California and Portland. I guess it is a measure of your life by how many people bother to show up for your funeral.
Jim was a great guy. I expect the church to be full tomorrow.
Don’t scold me, I know tomorrow is Saturday, but among my other strange habits, I do church that day.
When I reached In my pocket for my billfold, it wasn’t there. So I headed back home and discovered that my billfold had been in my pants pockets that Miriam had just washed.
So, today, among other things, I laundered money!
Tomorrow is the big day. I will be at the church early to look after the flowers that will be delivered at 9. I will lead my discussion group, try to stay awake in church.
I will grab a fast lunch and a nap and be back to the church at 2:30 to unlock ready for the service at 3:30. About 7 or 8 I should be able to sit down and rest.
This is way more than Jim would have preferred. While setting up the tables I knew what he would say: “You are going to way too much trouble here, Dave.”
One old friend flew in from Massachusetts, others are coming from California and Portland. I guess it is a measure of your life by how many people bother to show up for your funeral.
Jim was a great guy. I expect the church to be full tomorrow.
Don’t scold me, I know tomorrow is Saturday, but among my other strange habits, I do church that day.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Jim's T-craft (taylor craft)
Jim loved airplanes and flying. This is one of the planes he owned. In all he owned a bit over a dozen planes.
Jim's servicce
I am putting the last parts of Jim’s memorial service together. It will be Saturday afternoon.
The family asked me to be in charge, and after getting their approval for some of the basic steps, they turned me loose.
The “bulletin” that we will pass out is made by us, and not by the funeral home. One of my graphic designer daughters, Deanna, is doing the design. She is terribly busy, but she said she would do it for Jim, she remembers him very well and kindly.
There is music, the guest book, greeters, and a hand full of other tasks all done by Jim’s friends. I asked one friend and he said; “It would be an honor.” I think we all feel that way.
And they asked me to speak. That will not be easy, I tend to be a bit emotional at times, but I’ll get through it. If I have trouble I have a friend who will be there to take over if necessary. Since I think it might be difficult, I have written it all out so if I falter some one else, less emotional can finish it.
Our plan is to make it a very up beat event, with lots of good stories and music, but we know there will be some tears.
The family asked me to be in charge, and after getting their approval for some of the basic steps, they turned me loose.
The “bulletin” that we will pass out is made by us, and not by the funeral home. One of my graphic designer daughters, Deanna, is doing the design. She is terribly busy, but she said she would do it for Jim, she remembers him very well and kindly.
There is music, the guest book, greeters, and a hand full of other tasks all done by Jim’s friends. I asked one friend and he said; “It would be an honor.” I think we all feel that way.
And they asked me to speak. That will not be easy, I tend to be a bit emotional at times, but I’ll get through it. If I have trouble I have a friend who will be there to take over if necessary. Since I think it might be difficult, I have written it all out so if I falter some one else, less emotional can finish it.
Our plan is to make it a very up beat event, with lots of good stories and music, but we know there will be some tears.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
my new look
Sorry to use a picture of Alan (grandson #3, who is 17 now, with very fine teeth) to illustrate teeth problems. He is a very fine young man.
toothless
Just got back from the dentist, actually the 2nd dentist in two days.
Now, I am lighter, not only in purse, but in body. Today the doc took out one of my teeth, and we went way back together, this tooth and I.
I have not had the best dental care. It is not the dentists fault. Money has always been very tight and, except for a few brief periods where some one had insurance, it has always been a cash deal.
And cash has always been short.
So, now I pay. There are a couple more that need to come out, but at the price, I’ll wait until they are ugly. Probably not a good policy, but it may be the only one.
And while I pay about half of my retirement income for insurance, there is nothing that covers any dental work, so that expense will be put off as long as possible.
Fortunately, the teeth out in front are fairly healthy, so the jack o lantern look is not in the offing, but I may end up sipping my jello through a straw.
Now, I am lighter, not only in purse, but in body. Today the doc took out one of my teeth, and we went way back together, this tooth and I.
I have not had the best dental care. It is not the dentists fault. Money has always been very tight and, except for a few brief periods where some one had insurance, it has always been a cash deal.
And cash has always been short.
So, now I pay. There are a couple more that need to come out, but at the price, I’ll wait until they are ugly. Probably not a good policy, but it may be the only one.
And while I pay about half of my retirement income for insurance, there is nothing that covers any dental work, so that expense will be put off as long as possible.
Fortunately, the teeth out in front are fairly healthy, so the jack o lantern look is not in the offing, but I may end up sipping my jello through a straw.
snow
We don’t get a lot of snow.
We live in the desert, which means the rain/snow are in short supply. Ten or eleven inches of rain is what we call a wet year.
So, in the winter we can get snow, but it has to be cold enough and then there has to be moisture, a combination that does not often come out even for long. This is one of those snowy winters. I think we’ve had 13” so far and it keeps coming down.
Even my effort at cross country skiing did not really make winter fun. Snow is pretty when you look out the window, but I worked and traveled to jobs in the stuff my whole life and it as a major pain.
I do find some good in this stuff. I can easily tell where my neighbor kids cut across my place. Leo the dog does his thing very quickly when there is snow, and is eager to come back inside -- not a good list at all, is it? The roads are slick and hazardous, but my little car has good tires (for a while yet) and goes through the stuff pretty nicely.
Usually it does not stick around too long, OK it has been on the ground for a month, now and again, and spring is ahead of us, it really is.
Really the good part is that it will warm up a bit soon and I an work outside again, and I finished my seed orders yesterday for next year’s garden.
Spring is on the way, even if it is cold and miserable outside.
We live in the desert, which means the rain/snow are in short supply. Ten or eleven inches of rain is what we call a wet year.
So, in the winter we can get snow, but it has to be cold enough and then there has to be moisture, a combination that does not often come out even for long. This is one of those snowy winters. I think we’ve had 13” so far and it keeps coming down.
Even my effort at cross country skiing did not really make winter fun. Snow is pretty when you look out the window, but I worked and traveled to jobs in the stuff my whole life and it as a major pain.
I do find some good in this stuff. I can easily tell where my neighbor kids cut across my place. Leo the dog does his thing very quickly when there is snow, and is eager to come back inside -- not a good list at all, is it? The roads are slick and hazardous, but my little car has good tires (for a while yet) and goes through the stuff pretty nicely.
Usually it does not stick around too long, OK it has been on the ground for a month, now and again, and spring is ahead of us, it really is.
Really the good part is that it will warm up a bit soon and I an work outside again, and I finished my seed orders yesterday for next year’s garden.
Spring is on the way, even if it is cold and miserable outside.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
lower the emily flag
sad Griffy a long time ago.
Emily should be back home with her mother by the time I get this one posted. It wasn't a long visit, way too short, but we had a wonderful time. She is growing up so well, grandpa is so happy.
treasures
Yesterday was a grey day.
Not always do I feel that blue, but Dea nailed it when she talked to me later. “Dad, you never did do well in winter.”
I once took up cross country skiing so I’d have something to look forward to during the winter, then we moved to Texas for 5 years where skiing is not a big local sport (Texans fly to Colorado to ski).
But yesterday afternoon, after a dinner together with Emily and Miriam (a decent meal if I did prepare it), we spent some hours with our closest friends. These are church friends, and we hang out together a fair amount.
I have known some of these people for most of my life, Lloyd once said he knew me better than I knew myself. At 82, he is our senior, and he was most likely right.
As we sat and talked back and forth last evening I was overpowered by the importance of good friends.
In our moving culture, it is hard to make good friends, but one of the closest friends I have ever had goes back to our relatively short time in Texas. I guess I am painfully aware that it takes times to collect a bunch of really good friends.
Not sure I am smart enough to explain it all, not sure I really understand the dynamics of it all, but I revel in my friendships.
That includes the half dozen really close friends I have (Miriam has always been my best friend), the 15 or 20 good friends, and another layer of people I have good feelings about.
And, of course, that brings me back to loss. I lost Jim this last week. He was a good friend. Lloyd is 82, others in my group of friends have of health issues. No one can guarantee anything.
I could avoid all risks of having my heart ton out when I loose a friend, but I think the loss is over powered by the wonderful memories of these times.
I will loose Miriam one day, the prophecy has been made by our doctors, but I will forever remember the joy of our friendship and love-ship.
Not always do I feel that blue, but Dea nailed it when she talked to me later. “Dad, you never did do well in winter.”
I once took up cross country skiing so I’d have something to look forward to during the winter, then we moved to Texas for 5 years where skiing is not a big local sport (Texans fly to Colorado to ski).
But yesterday afternoon, after a dinner together with Emily and Miriam (a decent meal if I did prepare it), we spent some hours with our closest friends. These are church friends, and we hang out together a fair amount.
I have known some of these people for most of my life, Lloyd once said he knew me better than I knew myself. At 82, he is our senior, and he was most likely right.
As we sat and talked back and forth last evening I was overpowered by the importance of good friends.
In our moving culture, it is hard to make good friends, but one of the closest friends I have ever had goes back to our relatively short time in Texas. I guess I am painfully aware that it takes times to collect a bunch of really good friends.
Not sure I am smart enough to explain it all, not sure I really understand the dynamics of it all, but I revel in my friendships.
That includes the half dozen really close friends I have (Miriam has always been my best friend), the 15 or 20 good friends, and another layer of people I have good feelings about.
And, of course, that brings me back to loss. I lost Jim this last week. He was a good friend. Lloyd is 82, others in my group of friends have of health issues. No one can guarantee anything.
I could avoid all risks of having my heart ton out when I loose a friend, but I think the loss is over powered by the wonderful memories of these times.
I will loose Miriam one day, the prophecy has been made by our doctors, but I will forever remember the joy of our friendship and love-ship.
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