And today, yet another funeral.
Gratitude #83 - Sweet Biddies!
11 years ago
Saturday, November 7, 2009
goodbye my friend
Joan’s family handled the whole thing differently.
When we have a death in my sub sub culture, we usually have some sort of a memorial service at the church. The service is followed by a dinner for the family of the diseased sponsored by members of the church.
But Joan’s family do it differently.
The service was grave side. The weather was good. Her younger son, Dennis, gave a beautiful eulogy. She was an only child, born in Anchorage Alaska, raised in the Seattle area and met her beloved in southern California. He was in the middle of 7 siblings, so she instantly had a huge family.
He said that she would call for him, often: “You come here Buster Brown.” He said he was 9 before he figured it out that his name was not Buster Brown.
We said good bye to Joan.
Then the whole party was invited to a buffet dinner at the college cafeteria. Good food was provided. I took Miriam with me to the service, but we were taking care of Lynda’s mom, so I took her back and went alone.
I had an appointment quite soon after the dinner began, so I could not stay too long. I had not intended to even eat. I talked with Dennis and explained my dilemma.
People were offered time to speak about Joan. She was in my study group at church and had been for a decade or longer. The group was very important to her. I was asked to speak. I went first.
Joan, I said, was a classy lady and we will miss her. She had a constant smile, even when she hurt inside. After her beloved Art died a few years ago, she carved out a good life for herself, a life that tragically was cut short.
Our group will not be the same without her.
It has been said that none of us are indispensable, but I disagree. The world may go on without us, but no one will ever take our place to our family or our friends.
There will always be a void where Joan and Art were.
You were a good woman, Joan. We are proud to have been your friend.
When we have a death in my sub sub culture, we usually have some sort of a memorial service at the church. The service is followed by a dinner for the family of the diseased sponsored by members of the church.
But Joan’s family do it differently.
The service was grave side. The weather was good. Her younger son, Dennis, gave a beautiful eulogy. She was an only child, born in Anchorage Alaska, raised in the Seattle area and met her beloved in southern California. He was in the middle of 7 siblings, so she instantly had a huge family.
He said that she would call for him, often: “You come here Buster Brown.” He said he was 9 before he figured it out that his name was not Buster Brown.
We said good bye to Joan.
Then the whole party was invited to a buffet dinner at the college cafeteria. Good food was provided. I took Miriam with me to the service, but we were taking care of Lynda’s mom, so I took her back and went alone.
I had an appointment quite soon after the dinner began, so I could not stay too long. I had not intended to even eat. I talked with Dennis and explained my dilemma.
People were offered time to speak about Joan. She was in my study group at church and had been for a decade or longer. The group was very important to her. I was asked to speak. I went first.
Joan, I said, was a classy lady and we will miss her. She had a constant smile, even when she hurt inside. After her beloved Art died a few years ago, she carved out a good life for herself, a life that tragically was cut short.
Our group will not be the same without her.
It has been said that none of us are indispensable, but I disagree. The world may go on without us, but no one will ever take our place to our family or our friends.
There will always be a void where Joan and Art were.
You were a good woman, Joan. We are proud to have been your friend.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
another
Last night word came that one of my favorite grandmothers had passed on.
Elizabeth was in her mid 90's. She lived with her granddaughter in my town. Granddaughter is about the age of my daughters. Elizabeth was a tiny woman who was always smiling. In the last few months I have seen her decline, and I did not like that at all.
One of her great granddaughters, Gabrielle, is a good friend of Emily's. Every time Em was in town she was invited to Gaby's house for a spell.
All I can say now is that she was a wonderful woman, like another mother.
I am running out of mother figures.
Elizabeth was in her mid 90's. She lived with her granddaughter in my town. Granddaughter is about the age of my daughters. Elizabeth was a tiny woman who was always smiling. In the last few months I have seen her decline, and I did not like that at all.
One of her great granddaughters, Gabrielle, is a good friend of Emily's. Every time Em was in town she was invited to Gaby's house for a spell.
All I can say now is that she was a wonderful woman, like another mother.
I am running out of mother figures.
emily called
Yesterday Emily called.
She was walking from her house to the bus stop and as she often does, she called.
She was all bubbling about what a beautiful day it was in Portland and how much she loved fall and fall weather and how much she loved her school (her 3rd high school in two years). She was so happy, and I wished I could have walked with her and then give her a hug just before she got on the bus.
Her attitude was contagious. It was a good day here too. There was sun shine.
Indeed, fall is beautiful.
Life and fall, is what you make it, I think.
Thanks Emily.
She was walking from her house to the bus stop and as she often does, she called.
She was all bubbling about what a beautiful day it was in Portland and how much she loved fall and fall weather and how much she loved her school (her 3rd high school in two years). She was so happy, and I wished I could have walked with her and then give her a hug just before she got on the bus.
Her attitude was contagious. It was a good day here too. There was sun shine.
Indeed, fall is beautiful.
Life and fall, is what you make it, I think.
Thanks Emily.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
from the comics:
The Born Looser:
"Sigh. . . I was just thinking back on the good old days. . .
When I realized I don’t really have many good old days. . .
Mostly just mediocre days."
And from Garfield the cat:
"No matter how little I do . . .
. . .
. . . I always feel I could do less."
"Sigh. . . I was just thinking back on the good old days. . .
When I realized I don’t really have many good old days. . .
Mostly just mediocre days."
And from Garfield the cat:
"No matter how little I do . . .
. . .
. . . I always feel I could do less."
back home
We are back in our house again.
Spending time with Lynda’s mom was hardly a chore. She is a delightful lady, who, at almost 90 is legally blind, but has a good mind and a great memory.
The names here get complex. This is David my good friend. His wife is Lynda, who is not to be confused with my daughter Linda / Lia. We were staying in David and Lynda’s house looking after Lynda’s mother Dixie.
Grandma and Miriam made a good combination. Grandma could remember and Miriam could see. Lynda left me a 3 page set of instructions and I think we hit on all the high spots, but missed a few of the others, I am afraid. But, if we missed something important, grandma would remind us. That was good.
The biggest inconvenience for me was to have to cook in some one else’s kitchen yet again. I solved that partially by bringing frozen foods from home. Grandma said she liked my soups. I am glad. Not that she is hard to please. Miriam, as usual, did the cleanup and dishwashing. David will now have to find where she put things.
During the day, after breakfast, I would leave grandma and Miriam and go back to my house to work. We live about 3 or 4 blocks away, so traveling back and forth was not an issue
I do not often get time without Miriam around, so I made the most of it, clearing out a storage space and even giving away some of her unworn clothes. She won’t let me do any of that when she is around.
Like all trips, no matter where or how pleasant, it is good to be home. Glad David and Lynda had a safe trip.
I am glad David will be here through the winter.
Spending time with Lynda’s mom was hardly a chore. She is a delightful lady, who, at almost 90 is legally blind, but has a good mind and a great memory.
The names here get complex. This is David my good friend. His wife is Lynda, who is not to be confused with my daughter Linda / Lia. We were staying in David and Lynda’s house looking after Lynda’s mother Dixie.
Grandma and Miriam made a good combination. Grandma could remember and Miriam could see. Lynda left me a 3 page set of instructions and I think we hit on all the high spots, but missed a few of the others, I am afraid. But, if we missed something important, grandma would remind us. That was good.
The biggest inconvenience for me was to have to cook in some one else’s kitchen yet again. I solved that partially by bringing frozen foods from home. Grandma said she liked my soups. I am glad. Not that she is hard to please. Miriam, as usual, did the cleanup and dishwashing. David will now have to find where she put things.
During the day, after breakfast, I would leave grandma and Miriam and go back to my house to work. We live about 3 or 4 blocks away, so traveling back and forth was not an issue
I do not often get time without Miriam around, so I made the most of it, clearing out a storage space and even giving away some of her unworn clothes. She won’t let me do any of that when she is around.
Like all trips, no matter where or how pleasant, it is good to be home. Glad David and Lynda had a safe trip.
I am glad David will be here through the winter.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
funeral number one
It has been a weekend of funerals.
Two of my friends, both women, a generation apart, were put to rest this week.
The first service was Saturday afternoon. Our church has a capacity of about 500 and every seat was full. The parking lot was full.
Eulogies can have a little “who is that” about them. After all, why emphasize the departed’s foibles. But it is refreshing if there is a tiny balance, somewhere.
Jeanne did not know a stranger. She knew every kids name in the church, even those who just moved her last week. She also knew every one’s business, and remembered all the details.
It is not that she used that information for evil, she just knew.
Her two college age sons spoke eloquently about her as a mom, about their good times, and even about them arguing, but they never questioned her love.
The curious thing is that so many people attended but there was only a death notice in the paper. Her husband did not want an obituary and there was none. I can only guess the reason, and my guess is not particularly ennobling.
She was a good person who went way to soon. We worked together for some years in various church projects. She had the tendency to do more, to dominate, but she never shirked her duty.
I will miss her. I was an unflinching member of her fan club. RIP my friend.
Two of my friends, both women, a generation apart, were put to rest this week.
The first service was Saturday afternoon. Our church has a capacity of about 500 and every seat was full. The parking lot was full.
Eulogies can have a little “who is that” about them. After all, why emphasize the departed’s foibles. But it is refreshing if there is a tiny balance, somewhere.
Jeanne did not know a stranger. She knew every kids name in the church, even those who just moved her last week. She also knew every one’s business, and remembered all the details.
It is not that she used that information for evil, she just knew.
Her two college age sons spoke eloquently about her as a mom, about their good times, and even about them arguing, but they never questioned her love.
The curious thing is that so many people attended but there was only a death notice in the paper. Her husband did not want an obituary and there was none. I can only guess the reason, and my guess is not particularly ennobling.
She was a good person who went way to soon. We worked together for some years in various church projects. She had the tendency to do more, to dominate, but she never shirked her duty.
I will miss her. I was an unflinching member of her fan club. RIP my friend.
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