my brother

Ben is an expert skier, has been for much of his life. This picture was taken last week when he was skiing with his daughter here in Idaho.
I wasn't there and didn't take the picture, but Ben is obviously enjoying the moment.

consequences

The law of unintended consequences is alive and well.

I took a pill to help my blood pressure and it affects my stomach. I take a pill to help me cope and it makes me sleepy, change to a different pill and I deal with insomnia.

Last year we went to court to get guardianship of Miriam. Mostly it was done so we could be sure of access to her records and care for her better.

A week or so ago I got a letter from the court. I had missed a deadline filing a form. I didn’t even know about it, or didn’t pay enough attention. So yesterday we went to the court house (Emily went with me) to find the correct form.

Turns out I have to file a list of Miriam’s assets. That is complicated by the fact that we live in a community property state, and what is hers is mine, and visa versa.

So the court wants a list of all of our assets. “Anything of $100 value or more.” Wow, think of that one. I have a shop full of tools. Used tools are not very valuable, or even salable, by the way.

We don’t have stocks, bonds, wide investments of any sort, so that part is simple, but I have to list my cars, my 4 trailers, house and so on. There is no way I will list each of my hundreds of tools. I’ll do some generalization.

Then each December I have to file another form to explain what I did with Miriam's income for that year. Since her income is very low that is not hard, but it still is a form I need to fill out and submit.

Who has guardianship of who here?

Oh well. I still think we made the right move.

mm

Emily has arrived, accompanied by this box of chocolates.
We are glad Emily arrived, with or without the chocolates.
http://www.moonstruckchocolate.com/Catalog_Product.aspx?catid=4&prodid=854

sunset

i dunno

Where do we go from here?

There is a site for Alzheimer’s spouses and that question was posed there. Do you have thoughts and maybe even plans for after this is over?

I wrote the following:
My wife was diagnosed 8 years ago. At that time I began to read and realized that she could be gone very soon, and I thought a good bit about life after her.
But now the disease has been with us for a long time, and we are getting older, and now I almost think that when I loose her, I will be lost too.
It is that part of the equasion that freezes my mind.
Like life now, I guess it will be one day at a time.
And that is the awful part of all of this.

I guess that about sums up the hope and dispair that is part of this journey.

Maybe our calling in life is to help our loved one be as comfortable as possible, and then to call it a game.

I don’t know.

lora

she is our 2nd born, the little sister that Arline wanted.

Look at that

today is my 2nd born's birthday. Happy birthday Lora. Your old dad loves you.

an illustration by miriam

this one was for an article about viagra! I don't know the models

dave as model

This is an illustration I came across that Miriam did. It was printed on newsprint so the scan is not good. The guy in back is a real MD. I survived it all!
And, yes Miriam was a very good painter and illustrator. It was a short career, less than a decade. She went to college in her 40's and was forced, by AD to retire at 62.
Durn it all.

texas years

Yes you were. . .

Today I was emptying my closet, cutting down on redundant clothes.

I came across a box of magazines. The mags were there because they were published by the company Miriam worked for, and they contain a good bit of her work as an illustrator.

Hoping I could get her interested in clipping out her actual art work, I brought the box down and set it on the table. “Here are some magazines for you to look through.”

She was not anxious to do anything, but soon she was looking and working. At one point she called to me: “I was pretty good wasn’t I?”

Yes you were my dear, very good, and that was cut short, I am so sad. I had hoped that in retirement she might get back to her paints but that does not seem to be working. I wonder what would happen if I set up a paint corner with an easel and her favorite old paints and brushes.

What I am really afraid of is that the light really has gone out and that she would feel more inadequate and that it would destroy her more than it would help her. Maybe I am wrong, but I don’t think I want to risk it.

Yes, Miriam, you were a very fine illustrator, and I so wish it had come out different than this.