Gratitude #83 - Sweet Biddies!
11 years ago
Friday, November 16, 2007
diary
My mom was a world class diarist.
My father gave her one of these 5 year diaries, the kind that have a space about ¾” by 5” for each day. He gave it to her when she graduated from high school. She wrote in those diaries until the week she died 47 years later. She rarely missed a day.
You can’t write too much in that kind of space with a fountain pen. But she covered the important things in her life.
The day my dad goes to work in the morning and is killed before the end of the work day she covers the event carefully -- in one sentence.
She didn’t mean it was not important to her, or that she did not love my dad. There wasn’t room in the assigned space for a long discourse.
A week later she pours out her grief: “I am lonesome.”
I would have written a book of “woe is me” prose, but mom in her grieving covered it all in a few words.
As I look at it from this age, it seems so natural. She couldn't call her mom. Neither of them had phones. She couldn’t talk to me, I was 4. She had no neighbors in north Idaho, and few friends, none who were close.
Those gals were tough, my mom and her ilk. They put their lives back together and made the best of it.
Thanks mom. Even if you didn’t write as much as I might have liked, what you did write is so insightful.
Dad died in the fall of 1941, 66 years ago. I was 4, mom 24 and my sister a few months old. Dad was 28 when he died.
My father gave her one of these 5 year diaries, the kind that have a space about ¾” by 5” for each day. He gave it to her when she graduated from high school. She wrote in those diaries until the week she died 47 years later. She rarely missed a day.
You can’t write too much in that kind of space with a fountain pen. But she covered the important things in her life.
The day my dad goes to work in the morning and is killed before the end of the work day she covers the event carefully -- in one sentence.
She didn’t mean it was not important to her, or that she did not love my dad. There wasn’t room in the assigned space for a long discourse.
A week later she pours out her grief: “I am lonesome.”
I would have written a book of “woe is me” prose, but mom in her grieving covered it all in a few words.
As I look at it from this age, it seems so natural. She couldn't call her mom. Neither of them had phones. She couldn’t talk to me, I was 4. She had no neighbors in north Idaho, and few friends, none who were close.
Those gals were tough, my mom and her ilk. They put their lives back together and made the best of it.
Thanks mom. Even if you didn’t write as much as I might have liked, what you did write is so insightful.
Dad died in the fall of 1941, 66 years ago. I was 4, mom 24 and my sister a few months old. Dad was 28 when he died.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
to Stefania
Today was a sad day for all of us who love Stef (ilovenonna).
Her beloved Nonna passed on early this morning.
They were a doting grandmother and a beloved grand child. One of those long, superbly deep relationships. Naturally Stef is grieving.
To Stef: You are a great granddaughter, and a good friend. Nonna had every reason to be proud of you. We grieve with you. You have touched our lives in so many wonderful ways. Thank you and God bless you.
Her beloved Nonna passed on early this morning.
They were a doting grandmother and a beloved grand child. One of those long, superbly deep relationships. Naturally Stef is grieving.
To Stef: You are a great granddaughter, and a good friend. Nonna had every reason to be proud of you. We grieve with you. You have touched our lives in so many wonderful ways. Thank you and God bless you.
lawyer day
Today was lawyer day.
My daughters are sure that I need to have all the paper work in place, so in the wild case that I go first they would be able to seamlessly take over Miriam’s care. Not a bad idea, in the abstract.
So we contacted my favorite elder law lawyer. Two daughters came down and the three of met with lawyer Michelle. It went good. We decided I should go for custodianship of Miriam, as there were some advantages later.
So we did paper work. Miriam’s doctor Jocele did paper work, and today two lawyers, Michelle and another came and interviewed Miriam.
Frankly I was frightened by all of this. Miriam is very bright and the fact that she has Alzheimer's does not maker her a dolt. If she caught on what was going on, I was sure she would be furious.
So, I told her earlier that the meeting was about life insurance, which is pretty much right. This morning I told her to dress a bit better than every day, so she put her 2nd best pant suit on and looked good.
The lawyers arrived (in a very fine looking Audi coupe -- part of the fee, I guess), I primed them of my story and they came in the house. Miriam was talkative as ever. She repeated herself often enough so they were not going to question the doctor or me.
Finally, they ask her if it was OK with her if I (dave) took care of her legal matters for her. “I trust Dave. He will do the best for me.”
Wow, was all I could say (to myself). I will take good care of her, that is what you do for your favorite person, but it is so good to hear her agree that I can and should.
Thank you God.
My daughters are sure that I need to have all the paper work in place, so in the wild case that I go first they would be able to seamlessly take over Miriam’s care. Not a bad idea, in the abstract.
So we contacted my favorite elder law lawyer. Two daughters came down and the three of met with lawyer Michelle. It went good. We decided I should go for custodianship of Miriam, as there were some advantages later.
So we did paper work. Miriam’s doctor Jocele did paper work, and today two lawyers, Michelle and another came and interviewed Miriam.
Frankly I was frightened by all of this. Miriam is very bright and the fact that she has Alzheimer's does not maker her a dolt. If she caught on what was going on, I was sure she would be furious.
So, I told her earlier that the meeting was about life insurance, which is pretty much right. This morning I told her to dress a bit better than every day, so she put her 2nd best pant suit on and looked good.
The lawyers arrived (in a very fine looking Audi coupe -- part of the fee, I guess), I primed them of my story and they came in the house. Miriam was talkative as ever. She repeated herself often enough so they were not going to question the doctor or me.
Finally, they ask her if it was OK with her if I (dave) took care of her legal matters for her. “I trust Dave. He will do the best for me.”
Wow, was all I could say (to myself). I will take good care of her, that is what you do for your favorite person, but it is so good to hear her agree that I can and should.
Thank you God.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
home. . .
We are home.
Three daughters; 2 sons in law; 4 grandsons and 4 granddaughters, plus assorted cats and a big dog.
We drove almost a thousand miles in Miriam’s little blue car.
I know that area pretty well. We have driven that route many times, beginning when we were just married and Ike was the president. It is always beautiful, and we are always in a hurry, it seems.
Some parts more scenic than others. We took time to stop along the Columbia gorge, something we don’t often do. Usually we hurry right along with the big trucks from Texas and Florida.
Miriam keep chatting about Lewis and Clark and how wonderful the freeways are. She is right of course, they are great for getting from a to b, but you miss most of the really good stuff.
Once in a while, we all need to get out of the fast lane and take the back roads. It would be good for us. Miriam had a good time, no dust ups, just a good time for all. I am thankful.
And still, it is so good to be “home”. This is where I have lived for a very long time, so it is really imbedded in my brain.
Of course, I forgot to pay the water bill before we left, so the first trip was to city hall to make peace. Oh well.
It’s on now, the wood burning stove is doing it’s job and it is time for a shower before supper.
Three daughters; 2 sons in law; 4 grandsons and 4 granddaughters, plus assorted cats and a big dog.
We drove almost a thousand miles in Miriam’s little blue car.
I know that area pretty well. We have driven that route many times, beginning when we were just married and Ike was the president. It is always beautiful, and we are always in a hurry, it seems.
Some parts more scenic than others. We took time to stop along the Columbia gorge, something we don’t often do. Usually we hurry right along with the big trucks from Texas and Florida.
Miriam keep chatting about Lewis and Clark and how wonderful the freeways are. She is right of course, they are great for getting from a to b, but you miss most of the really good stuff.
Once in a while, we all need to get out of the fast lane and take the back roads. It would be good for us. Miriam had a good time, no dust ups, just a good time for all. I am thankful.
And still, it is so good to be “home”. This is where I have lived for a very long time, so it is really imbedded in my brain.
Of course, I forgot to pay the water bill before we left, so the first trip was to city hall to make peace. Oh well.
It’s on now, the wood burning stove is doing it’s job and it is time for a shower before supper.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Grrr
We traveled again today. Up the Columbia river, through the gorge. Some of the most beautiful scenery around.
We took the old road, he really scenic one for a long time stopping to take pictures here and there. And therein lies the conflict of the day.
When I was paid to do photographs I would change batteries each year, on the first day of the year. My trusty Leica’s didn’t use batteries except in the exposure meter.
My current camera, which carries a big time American name with an equal big time German name on the lens, but is all made in China, has two batteries.
The old one I had that was stolen had 4 batteries. Fine, but the new one has more bells, more monitors and more stuff, and half as many batteries.
So as I was merrily taking pictures, the lens retracted and it all shuts down. Just like that. I let it set a while and got another half dozen frames, but that was all. And, the gift shop at the fancy water falls, was “out” of double a batteries.
Of course they were.
We took the old road, he really scenic one for a long time stopping to take pictures here and there. And therein lies the conflict of the day.
When I was paid to do photographs I would change batteries each year, on the first day of the year. My trusty Leica’s didn’t use batteries except in the exposure meter.
My current camera, which carries a big time American name with an equal big time German name on the lens, but is all made in China, has two batteries.
The old one I had that was stolen had 4 batteries. Fine, but the new one has more bells, more monitors and more stuff, and half as many batteries.
So as I was merrily taking pictures, the lens retracted and it all shuts down. Just like that. I let it set a while and got another half dozen frames, but that was all. And, the gift shop at the fancy water falls, was “out” of double a batteries.
Of course they were.
Monday, November 12, 2007
red
Our first three daughters were blessed with wonderful red hair, even a bit brighter red than their mother.
The last was a brunette.
People would ask if she was ours!
She really and truly was ours and we have loved her (and her sisters) always.
The last was a brunette.
People would ask if she was ours!
She really and truly was ours and we have loved her (and her sisters) always.
still. . .
In the last while there has been a lot of talk on various forums about intimate relations between couples, one of which has AD. Most postings have been pretty negative.
In these posts men are often put down, sometimes quite badly
We have had a close marriage for a lot of years. We are close in every way you may choose to use that word. We hug, we cuddle, we hold hands and kiss a lot, even now. I want that part, all of those parts, to go as long as possible, including the most intimate ones.
That is some of the glue that has held us together for all these years. It is important for us keep bonded, in spite of this horrible disease.
I haven’t forced her, and I won’t, but I will love and hold and cuddle her as long as is possible.
She is my little red head, and I love her, still.
In these posts men are often put down, sometimes quite badly
We have had a close marriage for a lot of years. We are close in every way you may choose to use that word. We hug, we cuddle, we hold hands and kiss a lot, even now. I want that part, all of those parts, to go as long as possible, including the most intimate ones.
That is some of the glue that has held us together for all these years. It is important for us keep bonded, in spite of this horrible disease.
I haven’t forced her, and I won’t, but I will love and hold and cuddle her as long as is possible.
She is my little red head, and I love her, still.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
tired head
As this disease progresses, I am often slapped in the face by reality.
We have been watching a movie this after noon. It is a fairly complex movie, and one of my favorites in a dark somewhat evil way.
My dear Miriam has an increasingly difficult time following a simple movie or TV program. I spent a great deal of time explaining.
It is hard on my tired old head and heart.
We have been watching a movie this after noon. It is a fairly complex movie, and one of my favorites in a dark somewhat evil way.
My dear Miriam has an increasingly difficult time following a simple movie or TV program. I spent a great deal of time explaining.
It is hard on my tired old head and heart.
traveling
I like Oregon.
It is a good place, full of good people.
My home town is only 30 miles from the east side of Oregon. We breathe the same air, after all.
Miriam was born here in Oregon, about ½ way from here to home. The area where she was born has changed so much I have trouble knowing where I am when I visit.
Oregon is wonderfully progressive, Portland, where are now, is said to be the “greenest” city in America. We took our granddaughter to a teen party last night and, after dark, the streets were full of bicycle riders, going quietly on their way.
Today I bought gasoline for my little car, and was reminded of one of the wonderfully crazy parts of life in Oregon. Oregonians are not allowed to pump their own gas for their cars, it must be properly “installed” by qualified personnel.
It’s kind of crazy, but it works for them.
It is a good place, full of good people.
My home town is only 30 miles from the east side of Oregon. We breathe the same air, after all.
Miriam was born here in Oregon, about ½ way from here to home. The area where she was born has changed so much I have trouble knowing where I am when I visit.
Oregon is wonderfully progressive, Portland, where are now, is said to be the “greenest” city in America. We took our granddaughter to a teen party last night and, after dark, the streets were full of bicycle riders, going quietly on their way.
Today I bought gasoline for my little car, and was reminded of one of the wonderfully crazy parts of life in Oregon. Oregonians are not allowed to pump their own gas for their cars, it must be properly “installed” by qualified personnel.
It’s kind of crazy, but it works for them.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
