Don

I attend an Alzheimer’s support group each month.

Second Wednesday at 2 pm in the Church of the Brethren, Orchard and Middleton. Nice looking church, not my church, but what I know of it I like.

The support group is facilitated by three men: Walt, whose wife is in the latter stages of Alzheimer’s; Dave who cared for his mother who had dementia (not AD) and died a few years ago as well as Don, the assistant pastor of the church (whose son was the senior pastor until last summer). Don came on board because it was his church, and many members of the group are also church members. All three are wonderfully good guys.

Dave runs a mechanic shop, Walt lives across the street from the church. Don said they started the group as some way to get Walt into a church, and the both laughed.

Don’s son has been the senior pastor of this congregation, then they left to go on a two year mission. Don and his wife Dorothy have been married about 60 years, in age, Don is getting close to his mid 80’s. He is a canadian by birth (talks it too) and a WWII navy vet. He has a genuine easy smile and that ease of being around others that puts us al at ease.

He told us a few months back that his wife had been diagnosed with cancer. She was doing quite well we were sure told, Don’s faith was strong, but he knew reality. Last Wednesday Don could not be to the meeting, Dorothy was having surgery.

Today Walt called to tell me that Dorothy passed today.

I won’t see Don for at least a month (we met this last Wednesday), but I will think of him often. I know it is coming, but loosing a long time partner and friend has to be the hardest thing there is in this life.

contentment

I wasted a lot of my life.

Some wise person said that at the beginning of your life find some work that you like so much that it is a joy for you. I got close at one point, but never quite made the cut. So I warred with my head and gut. Frustration seemed to be my constant companion.

My daughters and Miriam brought (and bring) me great joy. I don’t remember any time not being hopelessly in love with each of them. Now we have added another generation, fine grand children that I am so proud of.

But I often felt frustrated with my career path.

I think my life started to feel a bit more comfortable when we went back to college in our mid 40’s. We both enjoyed the school work. I was teaching, something I love to do. We were making art. We were a long way from home, but the whole challenge of it was somehow very satisfying.

My goal was to get a job as a college teacher somewhere, but regrettably I picked a field that was swamped with qualified applicants. I sent out hundreds of resumes, but never could get a full time teaching gig. There were lots of part time jobs, but part time teaching is not good for the teacher.

Miriam has this horrid disease that is taking her away from me, but interestingly, I have found a great deal of contentment in the last decades. I am not smart enough to know how all of this came about, but I like it.

It took me about a week to adjust to retirement. I am sure that is a sign of some personal failure, but I like that too!

work station

This year I decided to build a fold up work station to go in the house. On cold days or when I want to be close to Miriam, it is a good place to work, and it is all portable and on wheels, so i can move it to another studio if I choose.

The doors for the lower section open to support the drop front on the top section to make a desk. Folded it is 19" deep and 32" wide. The light is one i got from Ikea in Oakland CA, when I visited there last year.

So far it has worked very well.

gadgets

I have a son in law who loves gadgets, particularly electronic ones.

Christmas time he showed me a device called “MagicJack” that plugs into your computer and into a regular old fashioned phone, and allows you to call on the computer for a fee of $20 a year.

Curtis takes it with him when he goes away from home on business, so he does not use up his cell minutes.

He asked if it would be useful to me, and I agreed that it would. So yesterday I got it set up and it works wonderfully. The sound is as good as any phone I ever heard, and gave me a chance to rescue our old PINK princess phone!

So I talked with Deanna last night for 40 minutes and it did not go against my cell time and I was delighted on two levels.

It seems that every thing is going up in price, insurance, groceries and so on, so it is good that I can cut my phone bill a hunk.

Normal 1 or 2 minute calls are not a problem at all. IT is those hour long calls we have with family that adds up the minutes. So I have asked them to call me on my regular phone and I’ll call them back on the computer phone, and we can talk as long as we like!

Thanks Curtis.

addendum

I think it is not considered good etiquette to eat a corner out of a dish of food before taking it to a potluck, so it went with a bit of trepidation. Was it cooked enough? Was it good?

I sat to eat besides my friend Coralee. I ask her about cooking from time to time, and I had talked to her about my potatoes.

She said they were good. I tasted mine and thought they could have been cooked a bit longer, and she said “No, they are fine.” When Coralee says that she means just that.

At the end of the meal there was two servings of apple crisp left, which with a dollop of ice cream (thanks Chris -- I don’t take ice cream to potlucks, but I sure eat it at home!), we took care of last night. It was good.

And we polished the potatoes off for breakfast.


But next time we have a potluck, I will remember what Coralee suggested and make the potatoes again! I asked daughter one about potlucks. I felt a bit intimidated by all of those good cooks in my group. She said find something I could do well do and work on it until it is good and every one will like it.

So, potatoes it is, ready or not!