feeling

Yesterday I felt my age.

Most of the time I get by thinking I am younger than I am. My back is strong, my knees function. I feel pretty good. OK, I am a bit slower, not quite so strong, and don’t have any where near the endurance I once had, but oh well.

Our house (I told you it was weird) does not have a “front door”, but you enter on the side. The entry has a low ceiling, with mirrored cabinets on the right side (our pantry) and the door into the utility on the left. It works better than it sounds, mostly

Above that low ceiling is the loft -- this is a 70’s house, after all. The loft goes over the hall, the pantry and the cabinets in the kitchen, about 7 feet and is about 9’ long. But since this is a cathedral ceiling, that ceiling is about a foot and a half over one edge of the loft and maybe 3 ½ feet on the other side.

Any way, I was painting that ceiling yesterday.

Lying on my back, Michelangelo style, painting away. It was a bit strenuous, pushing that roller up and into the texture of the ceiling. I began to feel a bit claustrophobic, a bit dizzy and even nauseated.

There was no choice but to keep working on it, so I did. And I felt all of my 71 years. When I had it done (ok, today I go back to touch up my work) I took a shower and then collapsed into my chair.

I’ll be glad when this is project is complete. We are at the stage where it seems like it has been going on always, and it will never be truly finished. I have learned that it is discipline that gets the job done. It sure is not fun any more (if it ever was), and right now it the whole project seems like a bad idea. If there is a good feeling of having it done, that is some where in the foggy future, if it ever gets done.

Today I feel good again. But I look at that ceiling that has not been painted in decades, and see places that need more paint and more work.

I used to tell my college students that degrees do not go to the bright but to those who persevere. That is my task now, keeping at it

It will be finished, it wlil, maybe even by this weekend!!