Tonight I went to a dinner sponsored by a church group.
The meal was prepared by a professional chef who is member of the group and a friend of ours. He is the only reason I went. The meal was fine, the company good, the entertainment ok, and then the pastor said we would have a movie that I had never heard about. I should have bolted.
It was mostly a movie about a religious conversion, with the sub plot about a rich guy whose wife comes down with Alzheimer’s. The person who wrote the screen play had talked to Alzheimer’s caregivers, but had no up front experience, that was obvious, but the story was not really about AD.
It was intense. In a very erratic way it went through a bunch of stages of the disease, The family never really connected with each other or the disease, which was the point of the story. Any way it was very very intense. People around us were sad movie weepy and different reasons I was seething.
Partly at the ineptness of the writer and how the story never did justice to the AD issues made me very unhappy, of having my face rubbed in a clumsy telling of the AD story. And partly I was seething at the young narcissistic pastor who did not bother to tell me of it’s content. And he knows me, obviously not very well.
When it was over I went over to him and said: “I wish you had told me what that movie was about.” He looked away. He did not seem to care about my discomfort.
Very good friends were sitting with us. When it was obvious that I was not happy, Miriam turned and said: “It’s Ok I used to be a nurse, and I worked in an Alzheimer’s unit.” Well, she was a LPN at one point, soon after we were married but she never worked in an AD unit.
And I was frustrated that after ten years of dealing with this disease, she still is in denial.
So I seethe. Tomorrow I may feel better, but don‘t bet on it.
Gratitude #83 - Sweet Biddies!
11 years ago
4 comments:
I watched a show on our local public tv station on Sunday afternoon. It consisted of several doctors, a judge who had been clinically depressed, and a couple of other professionals sitting around discussing a "case" that was presented by a moderator.
It wasn't that they were particularly wrong about stuff. But they were identifying with the patient and I kept thinking about the family of the patient.
So ever so often I was yelling at the TV.
Some things Judy and I just looked at each other and then both of us yelled at the TV.
I don't blame you for being furious. And that pastor has a whole lot to learn about being sensitive. If you're up to it, I think you ought to make an appointment with him and tell him again how inappropriate the film was and that the subject matter should have been announced prior to the showing.
If he's still non-receptive, it may be time to consider a different church. That behavior is unacceptable.
Now I'm furious too!
He did call me later in the morning and offer an apology. It sounded like one of my many friends go to him but i will never know.
I was courteous but a tad cool.
I love you grandpa. i am sorry that not everyone understands this disease. I am glad mostly that your surounded by a very understand group of family and friends.
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