grandparents

Really good grandparents do not stick around long enough.

Mine did not, for sure. My grandmothers were superb, one of a kind women. I learned so much from them. My two grandpas had been worn down by the realities of a hard life. Fun was not a working word for them by the time I was an adult.

Someone said a long time ago that while it is a biological necessity for a kid to have parents, (even in our high tech world) but what every kid really needs are grandparents.

You can talk to grandpa or grandma differently than you can any one else. They were kids once, and for some reason they remember those times.

A few years ago I was in an Alzheimer’s chat room, chatting with people about AD and how we care for our patient. I was asked about my status: Who I cared for; how old I was; how many kids I had; grandkids; and so on. The kind of thing that is sorta general get to know you stuff.

When I said I had 11 grandkids including 4 granddaughters, a little voice popped up in the corner of the room. “I don’t have a grandpa, would you be my e(lectronic) grandpa?”

Who could turn down a request like that.

That happened 3 years ago. The little voice belonged to Stefanie also known as “ilovenonna”. Her nonna (italian for grandmother) was a victim of AD and she was missing that special relationship.

A friendship was born. We have talked in chat rooms, instant messenger and email since.


It has been good: grandpa and Stef! This year she graduated from college and is on a two week trip this direction. The trip was to reconnect with a college pal who lives in Portland and to meet this “e grandpa and grandma”.

She arrive last week and spent good time with the friend. This week we drove to visit for the first time -- face to face.

Meetings like that are a bit awkward at first. Some distant relationships do not work up close, and some work better. This one is working pretty well. The time is too short to do much more than just extend the friendship a bit, but it has been good, very good.

Tomorrow she flies to her eastern home and we drive toward our home. The visiting time has been too short, but it has been good. I am glad we made the trip and I am glad I met the girl who went with the little voice in the corner of the chat room.

Thank you for making the trip, Stefanie.