aloneness

Friends come and go.

Lately I have lost a whole lot more friends than I have gained. That happens a lot easier than I might have thought.

Some made the final journey. Some have just gotten tired of my shtick. Some moved away, or I moved.

I had a good friend in Texas. We spent a lot of time talking, mostly about computers. But in time we ran out of something to talk about. We just did not have enough in common to pursue another subject or subjects.

And, there is glue. My wise cousin (I have several) once said that if he was not related to his brother they would not even be friends. Blood binds us. So does church.

But even the friendship of closeness changes. Grandkids grow up and have their own very busy lives. They are not “unfriendly” just other friendly. Grandpa becomes more of a luxury than a necessity.

Right now I am feeling the loss, sometimes feeling quite alone.

Miriam has been my best friend for most of my life (literally), but her ability to use her cognitive skills have gone. And I am feeling a degree of loneliness to which I am not accustomed.

The upside is that I am as much a loner as a social being. I do not resent being alone,

Artists are like that, I am told.