Wednesday, December 18, 2013

we lost her

Last night a little after 9 pm we lost her.

She put up a valiant fight against this horrible thing we call Alzheimer's. Of course, we knew who would win from the beginning, we did not know the time schedule.

I had not planned to be there at the end. But in late afternoon I decided to stay very late, maybe close to midnight if necessary. Daughter 1 was there with me and together we saw it happen.

The day before I could say: "Miriam I love you." She would answer in grunts. I could read what she was saying, we had a decent conversation. Yesterday there was no response at all.

Her breathing was labored, but she kept going. I went out of the room to call a friend and when I returned Daughter said; "mom is not breathing the same." I went to find the Aid who was in charge. She put her ear against miriam's chest and then went to get a stethoscope. When she came back and listened she just said: "She is gone."

The Aid, who is a wonderful woman who has seen and experienced much cried with us as we put the last details together.

We stayed until the funeral home people came and picked up her body.

This part is over and I am glad. Miriam did not need to suffer more, but now I am really alone and that grief will take a bit longer.

"I loved you Miriam. You were the light of my day and night."


Anonymous said...

Oh Dave, I am so sorry. Please accept my condolences to you and your entire family.

All of your love has shown through this entire time as well as your children's love. Miriam was the center of everyone's world and she taught them well.

Prayers for all of you, and I wish you peace. Take all the time you need to grieve. We each do that differently and there is no right or wrong way to go about it.

When you can, come back and let us know that you are Ok. Will be looking for that post.

With sorrow, Susan

dave said...

I have been surrounded with family all weekend. Tomorrow I go home to idaho where I live alone. That will be the hard part.

~Betsy said...

Dave - I just stumbled across your blog again after so many years away from the blogs. I am so sorry to see the struggles and wish you peace as you gather yourself and begin again. You were a wonderful caretaker, friend, and husband to Miriam. Stay strong.