Gratitude #83 - Sweet Biddies!
13 years ago
Thursday, September 22, 2011
one forward one back and one cogitation
All of all of this was such a simple situation.
Maybe I just was going soft, I don’t know. I am not 70 any longer, for sure, but the house and the garden and all was taking a toll. I, of course, did not notice, but friends and family did.
Daughter one saw disaster coming and in consultation with her sisters, she stepped up and offered a simple solution. It was as beautiful as it was simple and it was generous to a fault.
It was like a big puzzle, and quite quickly piece after piece fell into place: there was a buyer for our house; a friend offered us the use of his vintage motorhome; the state of Washington was ready to do what they could; daughter was approved as a caregiver and it was possible for me to get a break from caregiving when things get a little tight.
So we all gathered at the house we have owned for 35 years. The only house we have ever really owned. We, about 11 friends and family, packed and decisioned and threw and gave. We were fast and we were efficient. Miriam and I were going to downsize dramatically and suddenly.
That happened as we had planned. All was going according to that big plan.
Then the buyer got cold feet and decided he wanted to back out, it was his right and he exercised it.
I suppose I could bemoan the “things” that were given or discarded, but I refuse. It was a good purge, I am glad it happened, but that did not solve all problems. It just made my head work better.
The reality is that we have both a borrowed motorhome in Washington, but we still own a house in Idaho, on an acre, with orchard and shop.
Now what do we do?
If it was too much for me at one point, how will it be to combine that with place with the garden here in Washington state. We are still thinking, and working on that one.
Nutty as it sounds, I think I can do both, be healthier for it.
It is possible that just because I am old and should be wiser that it actually happened.
Maybe I just was going soft, I don’t know. I am not 70 any longer, for sure, but the house and the garden and all was taking a toll. I, of course, did not notice, but friends and family did.
Daughter one saw disaster coming and in consultation with her sisters, she stepped up and offered a simple solution. It was as beautiful as it was simple and it was generous to a fault.
It was like a big puzzle, and quite quickly piece after piece fell into place: there was a buyer for our house; a friend offered us the use of his vintage motorhome; the state of Washington was ready to do what they could; daughter was approved as a caregiver and it was possible for me to get a break from caregiving when things get a little tight.
So we all gathered at the house we have owned for 35 years. The only house we have ever really owned. We, about 11 friends and family, packed and decisioned and threw and gave. We were fast and we were efficient. Miriam and I were going to downsize dramatically and suddenly.
That happened as we had planned. All was going according to that big plan.
Then the buyer got cold feet and decided he wanted to back out, it was his right and he exercised it.
I suppose I could bemoan the “things” that were given or discarded, but I refuse. It was a good purge, I am glad it happened, but that did not solve all problems. It just made my head work better.
The reality is that we have both a borrowed motorhome in Washington, but we still own a house in Idaho, on an acre, with orchard and shop.
Now what do we do?
If it was too much for me at one point, how will it be to combine that with place with the garden here in Washington state. We are still thinking, and working on that one.
Nutty as it sounds, I think I can do both, be healthier for it.
It is possible that just because I am old and should be wiser that it actually happened.
loosing family
Miriam has 3 sibling, all with the same mother and father.
There are step brothers too, a total of 4 of them, but that is a different story.
This week we got news that her oldest half brother Wayne had died. He was one that was not recognized as part of the family until very recently, since his mother did not marry his father. One of those old family secrets that is not really a secret for as long as the principles had hoped. We only saw Wayne a couple of times.
Would we contact Miriam's other 3 siblings.
So I called her little sister. None of them are too good about keeping in touch, btw. The phone number was no longer in service. The last time we saw them she had obvious Dementia and her husband, who was older than her, had had by pass surgery, had lost a hundred pounds and looked really bad.
It is my fault I did not keep in touch with them. Sister's husband used to call me from time to time, but not recently. I will always regret that one.
So what do we do? I tried to get in touch with the next sister: Ellen. We had a couple of old phone numbers, but I looked her up on the white pages and found her address and phone number. The address was the same she had had for many years.
That number was not receiving calls, I was told. Sounded like it could be true, and I had no other number.
That leaves Miriam's only full brother. He does not have a phone. I will call the place where he used to work full time and now works a bit now and again and see if he can shed any light.
I am not optimistic.
So, Miriam has lost a big hunk of her family. Neither of the girls have children we can contact (only one son between them and he has been on the lam for decades.
Miriam cried tonight as we talked about it. I won't bring up the subject again.
There are step brothers too, a total of 4 of them, but that is a different story.
This week we got news that her oldest half brother Wayne had died. He was one that was not recognized as part of the family until very recently, since his mother did not marry his father. One of those old family secrets that is not really a secret for as long as the principles had hoped. We only saw Wayne a couple of times.
Would we contact Miriam's other 3 siblings.
So I called her little sister. None of them are too good about keeping in touch, btw. The phone number was no longer in service. The last time we saw them she had obvious Dementia and her husband, who was older than her, had had by pass surgery, had lost a hundred pounds and looked really bad.
It is my fault I did not keep in touch with them. Sister's husband used to call me from time to time, but not recently. I will always regret that one.
So what do we do? I tried to get in touch with the next sister: Ellen. We had a couple of old phone numbers, but I looked her up on the white pages and found her address and phone number. The address was the same she had had for many years.
That number was not receiving calls, I was told. Sounded like it could be true, and I had no other number.
That leaves Miriam's only full brother. He does not have a phone. I will call the place where he used to work full time and now works a bit now and again and see if he can shed any light.
I am not optimistic.
So, Miriam has lost a big hunk of her family. Neither of the girls have children we can contact (only one son between them and he has been on the lam for decades.
Miriam cried tonight as we talked about it. I won't bring up the subject again.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
wealthy
I am wealthier than I ever thought.
Even though it does not belong to me, I live “full time” in a Newell motorhome (check the price of the new ones if you have enough nerve), and I “own” a beach house.” In Idaho yet.
When our buyer became a looker, things changed fast. Rather than having a little cash and no real estate, I have a bit of real estate and no cash. Wow!
There are no bad people in this tale. The buyer had the right to change his mind. Daughters had their parents best in mind. Everyone had good motives. But still it when it is over, my head is still spinning.
With that cash I didn’t get I was going to build a studio/shop complex inside a barn that belongs to daughter 1. Maybe I needed a big new project and maybe I didn’t, but I am also working on a merit badge in consummate laziness.
So now we have this beach house 4 hours from “our” motorhome. I have known people to have get away homes further from their usual resident than that. One friend has a nice “cabin” that is not too much closer, so I guess distance is relative.
Every once in a while I can come down and take advantage of the shop, and putter in the “beach house” garden and act like a british lord on a very small scale!
Even though it does not belong to me, I live “full time” in a Newell motorhome (check the price of the new ones if you have enough nerve), and I “own” a beach house.” In Idaho yet.
When our buyer became a looker, things changed fast. Rather than having a little cash and no real estate, I have a bit of real estate and no cash. Wow!
There are no bad people in this tale. The buyer had the right to change his mind. Daughters had their parents best in mind. Everyone had good motives. But still it when it is over, my head is still spinning.
With that cash I didn’t get I was going to build a studio/shop complex inside a barn that belongs to daughter 1. Maybe I needed a big new project and maybe I didn’t, but I am also working on a merit badge in consummate laziness.
So now we have this beach house 4 hours from “our” motorhome. I have known people to have get away homes further from their usual resident than that. One friend has a nice “cabin” that is not too much closer, so I guess distance is relative.
Every once in a while I can come down and take advantage of the shop, and putter in the “beach house” garden and act like a british lord on a very small scale!
Monday, September 12, 2011
idaho
Miriam and I have been staying in our ancient travel trailer, in Idaho, for the last few days.
Along with 4 grandkids and daughter 2, we drove down afternoon Thursday. We got a lot of work done on Friday and the house is looking empty, which is good.
The beds in the house are full of family, so we go to the camper, where it is quiet and restful. I could turn on some heat - we have propane and electricity but it is not that cold. We don’t have water in the tanks. I am not sure I want to fill the system this late in the fall, and we only sleep here.
Next is to load the remaining furniture into the Cargo Trailer. Daughter and family will leave here today, leaving Miriam and I alone in our house for the first time in a long time.
My leather recliner, the lamp beside it and the TV will be the last to be packed away. I may well bring a lawn chair inside so we can both sit in comfort. There is enough “stuff” in the kitchen to function and we will be OK. How long will we stay camping here?
Not sure, but it will be most of this week at the least. There is no deadline. There is plenty of work to do. We may stay a while! Since the sale of the house fell through, there is no deadline.
While I do enjoy being with my family, I also enjoy being with Miriam, alone.
Miriam bought this trailer the year we were separated, she in Washington State with a job and I in Idaho, trying to make a job. A few years ago I gutted it, improved the insulation and built all new cabinets. It is comfortable.
Before winter it needs to be pulled back north.
Since we did not sell the house and have no idea of when that might happen, plans to build a studio or shop have been tabled. In Washington, this ancient trailer will be our “studio” and I’ll see if I can conjure a place to do some wood work, come spring.
Along with 4 grandkids and daughter 2, we drove down afternoon Thursday. We got a lot of work done on Friday and the house is looking empty, which is good.
The beds in the house are full of family, so we go to the camper, where it is quiet and restful. I could turn on some heat - we have propane and electricity but it is not that cold. We don’t have water in the tanks. I am not sure I want to fill the system this late in the fall, and we only sleep here.
Next is to load the remaining furniture into the Cargo Trailer. Daughter and family will leave here today, leaving Miriam and I alone in our house for the first time in a long time.
My leather recliner, the lamp beside it and the TV will be the last to be packed away. I may well bring a lawn chair inside so we can both sit in comfort. There is enough “stuff” in the kitchen to function and we will be OK. How long will we stay camping here?
Not sure, but it will be most of this week at the least. There is no deadline. There is plenty of work to do. We may stay a while! Since the sale of the house fell through, there is no deadline.
While I do enjoy being with my family, I also enjoy being with Miriam, alone.
Miriam bought this trailer the year we were separated, she in Washington State with a job and I in Idaho, trying to make a job. A few years ago I gutted it, improved the insulation and built all new cabinets. It is comfortable.
Before winter it needs to be pulled back north.
Since we did not sell the house and have no idea of when that might happen, plans to build a studio or shop have been tabled. In Washington, this ancient trailer will be our “studio” and I’ll see if I can conjure a place to do some wood work, come spring.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
dreams
Dreams are so flimsy.
It is amazing how little it takes to make a dream go bad.
Last night's political debate was interesting. One strategist advised to never base your plan on what the other guy may or may not do. They change their direction and you are in tall grass.
Selling property is like that, I guess. Your joy (a sale) is based on someone else's actions, which can be influenced by well meaning and not so well meaning friends and family.
Which makes it all sort of a house of cards.
But we are not kids any more (75 next time). To be really useful for the last of our years, a tad of money would be better sooner than later.
And, speaking of the Lord's leading. Up to this point everything was falling into place.
Rent the place? Past record on that one was 2 good renters and one extremely bad one.
Not much assurance there.
It is amazing how little it takes to make a dream go bad.
Last night's political debate was interesting. One strategist advised to never base your plan on what the other guy may or may not do. They change their direction and you are in tall grass.
Selling property is like that, I guess. Your joy (a sale) is based on someone else's actions, which can be influenced by well meaning and not so well meaning friends and family.
Which makes it all sort of a house of cards.
But we are not kids any more (75 next time). To be really useful for the last of our years, a tad of money would be better sooner than later.
And, speaking of the Lord's leading. Up to this point everything was falling into place.
Rent the place? Past record on that one was 2 good renters and one extremely bad one.
Not much assurance there.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
oh well
Todays big news!
The sale of the house went south, way south.
So we are back to where we were before we were there.
But, that is how life goes.
Tomorrow we go back to the house to clear and clean. We is a daughter and two very capable granddaughters. I may spend a good bit of the fall there, or back and forth from here to there.
Not what I had in mind, but I am often such a romantic!
The sale of the house went south, way south.
So we are back to where we were before we were there.
But, that is how life goes.
Tomorrow we go back to the house to clear and clean. We is a daughter and two very capable granddaughters. I may spend a good bit of the fall there, or back and forth from here to there.
Not what I had in mind, but I am often such a romantic!
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
back home
We are back "home."
Miriam is beginning to think of our Washington home as HOME. That is good. When I told her that she would need to come back with Daughter 1, she had a fit that lasted until I changed my schedule so she could come back with me.
The house is emptying. I brought back a ton (quite literally) of books and stuff. The girls squirreled boxes of things away with them when they left Idaho for their homes. The inside of the house is down to furniture, mostly.
The furniture in our house was mostly hand made. That give each piece a priority when it comes to moving. We will leave a few built in pieces, but virtually everything that will move will be moved.
The plan is to go back to Idaho Thursday and load up much of that remaining furniture. It is bulkier, and the pickup and trailer will both be filled to capacity by it all.
I will take Miriam with me, since Daughter 1 and her family are committed to another event. Daughter 2 and her family (maybe just the two teen age girls - who are fabulous help) and maybe a guy or three too will go also.
I just brought construction equipment (not to be confused with cabinetmaking equipment - there is some cross over, but for the most part, though each works with wood, the tools and equipment are different) enough to build the studios and shop. I also brought a lot of garden hand tools.
Someone borrowed my little Mantis tiller, or it was stolen (hopefully the former), but I brought all my favorites including the scythe I bought with money my grandmother gave me for my birthday several decades ago.
Indeed we are moving "home."
Miriam is beginning to think of our Washington home as HOME. That is good. When I told her that she would need to come back with Daughter 1, she had a fit that lasted until I changed my schedule so she could come back with me.
The house is emptying. I brought back a ton (quite literally) of books and stuff. The girls squirreled boxes of things away with them when they left Idaho for their homes. The inside of the house is down to furniture, mostly.
The furniture in our house was mostly hand made. That give each piece a priority when it comes to moving. We will leave a few built in pieces, but virtually everything that will move will be moved.
The plan is to go back to Idaho Thursday and load up much of that remaining furniture. It is bulkier, and the pickup and trailer will both be filled to capacity by it all.
I will take Miriam with me, since Daughter 1 and her family are committed to another event. Daughter 2 and her family (maybe just the two teen age girls - who are fabulous help) and maybe a guy or three too will go also.
I just brought construction equipment (not to be confused with cabinetmaking equipment - there is some cross over, but for the most part, though each works with wood, the tools and equipment are different) enough to build the studios and shop. I also brought a lot of garden hand tools.
Someone borrowed my little Mantis tiller, or it was stolen (hopefully the former), but I brought all my favorites including the scythe I bought with money my grandmother gave me for my birthday several decades ago.
Indeed we are moving "home."
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