early morning ramblings

Last night I was bone tired, so I went to bed at 10, and 5 hours later, just like I could predict, I was wide awake. I laid in bed for another half hour, and t hen got up. That is why I rarely go to bed “early.”

I’ll be up till about 6, then I’ll go back to bed and sleep another couple of hours. It will work out alright.


When I woke up I had just had a dream and it was all twisted and turned like dreams, but it kicked up my thinking. What will it be like in 15 years? I am healthy enough, and baring an accident or an opportunistic disease, I’ll be around and be in pretty good health too.

My grand kids will range from 26 to 40. Miriam will likely be gone, and I will be alone. I will be living some where near a daughter, some way. It could be here and it could be there, but it will all be different. I might be living in my RV or I might be living in a room at the back of the shop. That part is not predictable.

I go see my doctor Monday. Miriam has Alzheimer’s and sees the doctor once a year, I am the caregiver and for a while I saw my doctor every month. Routine stuff, but she wanted to make sure I was staying healthy as the caregiver. The last time I was there she said I was in “remarkably good health.” This visit is routine too. I hope it is boring!

So I will likely be around, but I cannot help wonder about my family and friends. One person suggested that you make young friends regularly along the way so when you are old you will still have a few friends left. Otherwise It could be pretty lonesome I fear.


This week we had some apples that were “short dated” meaning they going bad soon. Miriam asked what should we do with them: make a pie or apple crisp. I have always preferred the crisp, so I told her to get the apples pealed and I would make an apple crisp of them.

She pitched a fit about me and my bossiness and how she was capable but how I butted in, and so on. I backed off gracefully, and said she could go ahead, and she did.

It was not too good. For some reason apples baked in hunks without any liquid do not cook well, and she used too little toping, and to make up for that shortage, she put a layer of cocoanut on top. I ate some for breakfast ( with a bit of granola it was pretty good -- but it was a good sized dish).


We have a potluck tomorrow, so I looked at that ¾ dish of apple crisp, and I decided to "repurpose" it. I added some apples to make up for those I had eaten. I made a new batch of topping. I baked it until the apples were soft, but I wanted a bit more of a brown on the top so I put it under the broiler and browned it a bit.

Last night after I slowed down, Miriam decided that I had burned that top layer, so she painstakingly picked off each tiny fleck of what she thought was “burned.” I was hoping that it looked bad enough I could bring a good bit of it back to eat with a bit of ice cream! We will still see how this all works out.


It seems that life is pretty well what you make of it. Some of us are dealt more bad cards than others, but few are dealt a really hot hand. I would do anything to not have Miriam with this disease, but with a lot of humor and a bit of love and patience we are doing fairly well, but that could be a self perpetuating fantasy as well.

But in 15 years I will be in my mid 80’s What will be different? Maybe almost every thing.

Hmm.