goodbye my friend

Joan’s family handled the whole thing differently.

When we have a death in my sub sub culture, we usually have some sort of a memorial service at the church. The service is followed by a dinner for the family of the diseased sponsored by members of the church.

But Joan’s family do it differently.

The service was grave side. The weather was good. Her younger son, Dennis, gave a beautiful eulogy. She was an only child, born in Anchorage Alaska, raised in the Seattle area and met her beloved in southern California. He was in the middle of 7 siblings, so she instantly had a huge family.

He said that she would call for him, often: “You come here Buster Brown.” He said he was 9 before he figured it out that his name was not Buster Brown.

We said good bye to Joan.

Then the whole party was invited to a buffet dinner at the college cafeteria. Good food was provided. I took Miriam with me to the service, but we were taking care of Lynda’s mom, so I took her back and went alone.

I had an appointment quite soon after the dinner began, so I could not stay too long. I had not intended to even eat. I talked with Dennis and explained my dilemma.

People were offered time to speak about Joan. She was in my study group at church and had been for a decade or longer. The group was very important to her. I was asked to speak. I went first.

Joan, I said, was a classy lady and we will miss her. She had a constant smile, even when she hurt inside. After her beloved Art died a few years ago, she carved out a good life for herself, a life that tragically was cut short.

Our group will not be the same without her.

It has been said that none of us are indispensable, but I disagree. The world may go on without us, but no one will ever take our place to our family or our friends.

There will always be a void where Joan and Art were.

You were a good woman, Joan. We are proud to have been your friend.