Trombones

Yesterday was Miriam's birthday.

It was one of those numbers that Meredith Willson associated with trombones! Let you figure that one out!

She got a shower in the morning and afternoon we went to a restaurant for her birthday dinner. We were the guests of my aunt (my mother's baby sister) and uncle.

It was good. We had a good time. The food was good, though not quite as wonderful as the price, oh well.

Of course by the time we got home Miriam could not remember we had even eaten. That is how my life works now.

Today we are sitting side by side in the white leather chairs that we brought with us when we left our Idaho home. (Daughter 4 bought the leather set new and bequeathed it to us a few years ago, so it has been well used and well loved.)

I hold her hand.

That hand fit into my hand so easily so many years ago and still does.

She cannot remember who I am for sure. She thinks I am her brother.
Inside.

I cry.

I saw this gentleman in a Museum in Portland a while back. I am sure he was very important in his day, and it is a very good Roman copy of a Greek sculpture.

What amazed me was that I was ALLOWED to take pictures at all. Museums have not taken to cameras kindly. When I asked the friendly guard about taking pictures she said it was OK as long as i didn't use flash. Since I would rather chew on barbed wire than use flash, that was not a problem.

grandaughter

I have three granddaughters about a year different in age from the oldest to the youngest.

The last one had her 18th birthday about Christmas time and she decided it was time to spread her wings. She moved to Portland where she is living with Daughter 4, getting ready to go to Chef's school and enjoying her new life.

There are times when we all need good mentoring, and this will be no exception.

Granddaughter sent me a card for Christmas. In part she wrote: "Thank you for treating me like your other grandkids." She is adopted, so that is not an idle statement.

I was a step child and have an inkling of what it must be to be adopted. But when I got word that this child was going to be adopted into my family I vowed that she would never say that Grandpa took better care of the other grandkids than her.

Seems that my wish and determination have come true.

Pizza

About the time you think you see a big turning point in this disease it changes.

A few weeks ago Miriam had trouble with most everything. But now not so much so.

She knows who I am almost always, and at bed time. After I tuck her in bed in daughter's house I ask her if it is OK now if I go to my little house to go to bed. She says "yes" but asks to be hugged first, which is surely not a problem.

Yesterday we drove to a nearby town, an hour away, to look at a wood lathe (I did not buy it). Miriam went with me. She enjoyed the trip, and her walking to the restaurant was slower than normal but we got there alright.

We had Pizza (the fist pizza I bought in a LOT of  years).  After we had both eaten a good bit there was one piece left. "I'll split this last piece with you," says I. "No, I'll eat it all!" So I split it 1/3 2/3 and gave her the big piece.

It quickly went away. She was happy, and later I had a roaring gut ache!

This is how my ancestors came to this double named valley, about 150 years ago. They arrived with less freight than many of us take camping, but they survived. Great-great-gandfather had just mustered out of the Union Army, as I can pick up the story. He had had enough of the east and wanted to go west.

Life should have such a notice, I suppose.

winter update

It is winter here in the valley they liked so well they named it twice.

Not many places have a compound name that repeats itself. But we are unique here, sorta.

I have seen it terribly cold here (-35) and I have seen it horribly hot (117) in the past living here, but now it is winter. I am living in my tiny house. Miriam lives in the house with daughter and her family.

Seems like everything I build is at least somewhat experimental, and this tiny house is no exception.

It is well insulateld, but it does not have any thermal mass, that is it does not have heavy stuff that holds the heat. Our Idaho house had tons and tons of masonry, so if it was comfortable when you went to bed at 10 or 11, it cooled down only 8 or 10 degrees by morning.

Here it cools down more dramatically. Usually it is in the low 50’s when I get up. I start up the propane catalytic heater in the kitchen (6000 btu) and the one in the “big” room (3000 btu) and for the first hour or so I may use a 1500 watt electric heater, but it does not take long to be very comfortable.

I have well water coming into the house, that is I usually do. The cold last week went down to about 20 and froze the water line. Grr. Another experiment I get to work with. It won’t be too hard to fix the water supply as soon as it thaws a bit, which will be this week, I think!

Gray water runs out on the back lawn at this point, but will go into a mini-leach field soon. The toilet is composting and operates with a compost pile at the back of the property.

So, I am comfortable. 

Last night, as I was talking to Miriam before returning to my tiny house, she kept saying that she did not remember us getting divorced. When I pressed her a little she said that since we did not sleep together that were probably divorced, but she could not remember it.

She stays in the house and has not been in the tiny house in a couple of weeks. It will continue like that. Getting around is very tedious for her. She doesn’t read, she doesn’t do puzzles, she just sits and stares straight ahead. And she sleeps a LOT. 

We get her to bed between 8 and 9, and she will sleep until at least 10 the next morning. Then while she is sitting in her chair, she will doze off.

Daughter is a knitter, big time, and she made Miriam a cute wool hat with a pair of fingerless gloves to match. When it is cool, we put those on Miriam. She looks cute in them and it helps her keep warm.

So my and our life is good. We are comfortable and warm. We are well fed and well loved. What else could we ask?

The Columbia River in the fall. Before we, in our infinite wisdom reduced the mighty columbia from a moving river to a series of still water lakes, this was the prime fishing spot for the First Americans. We took it from them and gave them money, as if you really could buy someone's birthright.
The picture was taken with a professional grade Canon camera that a friend loaned me. It really did take wonderful photographs.

better

Miriam recovered pretty well - mostly.

She still can't walk well and she still wears the diapers. That is OK on both levels and she is not upset about it either. But since she cannot really walk there is no reason to take her back to my little house. She has a terrible time going down the steps in the house and not much easier at the little house. At night the 150 foot long walk is terrifying to her.

Tonight, I fixed her stew in the little house while daughter was here, then I brought it over and we ate together. Daughter has to look after another client in the evening, and the family is on their own for food.

So that worked well.

We will let her stay in the house and we will take turns looking after her or being with her. Tonight daughter 2 is here and will keep an eye on Miriam. Daughter 2 is an RN, but she has spent her career in the birthing areas not in the old ladies department (see how un-medical I am!).

We will keep Miriam here at daughters house as long as we can. No one knows how it will work out, or when it will, but we will do our best as long as we can.

small stroke?

We had our Christmas dinner on Sunday.

It was the only day we could all get together. All, this year was 3 of 4 daughters and 8 of 11 grandkids. We did include my sister from Idaho and our mother's sister, who lives here in this town, along with Auntie's husband. I think that made a total of 19.

One daughter noticed that Miriam's face was a bit saggy on one side. Then we noticed she could not walk, but slept more. Daughter 2, the RN, bought Miriam some adult diapers. Did she have a small stroke? We cannot know for sure.

Monday she was a bit better, and Christmas she was a bit better yet, but still walking was extremely slow and laborious. She could go to the bathroom alone still, but not as well or as efficiently.

Today we see if we can contact the case worker to get council on what to do next. It may well be that the time when we can easily care for Miriam is over and now we step into a higher intensity of work on our part or we place her in a home.

I am the husband, but only one of the voters in this saga. Largely what will happen will be with my consent, but maybe without my real total approval. I think that is how it works in these things.

So, we watch and we care for Miriam.

My iPhone has limitations but I hear the newest version is really wonderful. Yet, I find the limitations of the phone/camera about even with my current devotion to photography! 

A few years ago we spent a month with Emily our granddaughter who was 13, too young to be left at home alone. Our daughter Lia was going on a month long trip to Asia. When I was asked if we would come to Portland I immediately said yes, emphatically.
Enjoy the day, tomorrow will be different. Kids grow up. Grandpa's take a back seat to boy friends and husbands. That is how it should be.
But while we were there I took Emily to her voice lesson at the old Congregational Church in downtown Portland. I was awestruck by the wonderful woodwork and the pipe organ.
When I was in Portland this fall I made time Sunday Morning to attend the Sunday service. Of course I was anxious to listen to the Organ.
Alas, it was "Jazz Sunday" the pastor informed me, and while I like jazz, not nearly as much as I like good organ music, the jazz quartet made good music.
Later I visited with the Organist and promised him that I would again attend the next time I was in Portland on a Sunday morning.
The church was built in the 1890's. It is right downtown. As a wood worker I was really interested in all the wonderful wood work. The benches are all curved, the doors gothic arches. Hardwood floors, just a lot of wood, good wood, fabulous craftsmanship.
I was so glad that the wood they used was not Oak or Maple, which would have had to be shipped from the Eastern states. Instead it was local Douglas Fir, which, when used well is a wonderful wood.

John

I attended high school with John.

We were not in the same grade, and we were not there together very long. I graduated when John was a lower classmen.

Last time I talked to him, he reminded me that He still had a painting on his office wall that daughter 4 had painted when she was in high school (and he was on the faculty). He was the one with the big smile.

Tonight Daughter 1 tells me that John and I have a LOT in common.

John met his wife after high school and I have only known her as John's wife. She was a very sweet smiling lady with a ton of organizational skills.

But now John's dear wife has been placed in a home. Her AD has progressed to the point that John cannot care for her any longer.

When I see him again we will visit a bit about this horrible disease, but not too much.

Life is for the living, and while we will never forget our beloved wives, we have to care for ourselves and move on, wherever and whatever "on" is.

Our hands. Picture taken by daughter one.
I used the picture on our christmas card this year.