My step father had a hard time saying “I love you.”
Once, in his last days, Miriam sort of forced him to say: “Dave I love you.”
He was one of those “I tell you I love you by feeding you” kind of guys, You know the kind.
So, I suppose it was inevitable that I would either learn from him or take a whole different tack on life.
I choose the different direction. As a teen I decided no one around me would ever wonder if I loved them, if I did. In fact, I figured that if anything I might be accused of being too verbal with those three words.
So my daughters hear those words directed at them every time we meet or talk or do email. My sons in law have to put up with it too. “I love you Sid.” “I love you Curtis.” and being a modern family, we have had more sons-in-law than daughters!
My dear Miriam is the one who is lavished with “I love you.” I tell her at night when we roll over in bed, I hug her and tell her when we wake up and every chance I get all day.
“I am so glad I married you.” “You sure look nice today.”
With Alz living with us now the latter one gets a bit more tricky, as grooming skills deteriorate. I say it anyway. She will always be beautiful to me.
My motives are not totally selfless, I suppose. I know the time is coming when she will be harder to love, when, if we were starting over, it would not work, this romance thing. So I am working on my head in a tiny way.
When she looks good she deserves to hear it, and I need to have that idea soldered into my head a tiny bit more.
But, that is future stuff. For now it is easy to say it, and mean it.
“I love you, Miriam. I am so glad you are my wife and friend.”
Gratitude #83 - Sweet Biddies!
11 years ago
7 comments:
When my mom was first diagnosed, I found myself saying I Love You more often to both parents. Now that those words turned out to be my last to my mom as well as my last in person words to my dad, they carry a lot more meaning. I'm sure Miriam loves hearing it - regardless if you say it 100 times a day!
You're a wonderful caregiver and husband to her.
HEY was your step dad Italian??? Sounds like my grandpa, he loved us but did not often say it he would just cook for us. Its always a struggle to say those three words in my family. Thanks for adding an adopted granddaughter to your list of people to bug with those three words.
My step dad wasn't always good at being loving either.
thank you both
And he was British. Stubborn as an ox as well.
Dave,
Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I can understand where you are coming from. My father is the same way. The only person that I knew loved me and never doubted it was Mama. She told me and still to this day tells me that she loves me. I walk in the door at her house and that is the first words out of her mouth..."hey there is my baby girl Gale and I love her." And when I go to leave, I will go and kiss her on the cheek and tell her that I love her more than the highest mountains and deeper than the deepest of the oceans and she tells me the same. There is nothing like love...nothing...and I like you tell my family that I love them...every chance that I get...
Dave, my dad wasn't very good at saying I love you either, but his actions showed it. His love was always known without being spoken.
When he did say them, I cherished them forever. I, too, use them freely so those I love know exactly how I feel. :)
OK I guess the Brits and Italians got something in common. lol :)
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