sue and len

The local Alzheimer's support group met last week.

There were about a dozen people there, and if listening to others problems makes a good day, it was one. Some are handling the damned disease well and others are really not.

Among others, there were two people there. Len and Sue (not their real names). Her husband is still in the argumentative stage and Len's wife does not even talk any longer.

At break time, Sue approached Len. “Are you related...?” She gave a woman's first name and Len's last name.

“Maybe.”

Sue pressed on. She asked again but this time added the woman's middle initial. “Yes, she is my X wife,” Len answered.

“Well, she had an affair with my husband years ago and most of the troubles between us are because of that affair.”

“That is one reason why I divorced her.” Len grinned.

She did not say how long ago this was, but it seems to have been a good while ago, long after Len divorced her. But she had not forgotten for sure, and neither had she forgiven.

At break time, Len, Walt (the facilitator) and I were in the rest room at the same time. It was very serious business for Sue, but to Len it was really quite funny. His x wife and this woman's husband and he laughed again.

Len, by nature, is a happy person, he laughs deep and loud, he smiles a lot, even though his life is not all easy right now. Sue, on the other hand, rarely if ever smiles. She has been coming to the group meetings for a year or two, but I have never seen her remotely pleased.

The sad thing is that her anger at her husband was poisoning their relationship as well as her own mental and physical health.

I doubt it would do any good to remind her of that, though I should try some how.

Maybe.