Friday, April 22, 2011

more about my mother

I want to talk about my mom a bit more.

There are not many left who knew her. My daughters remember mom well, but none of the grandkids did.

So I tell them stories about mom and what a classy lady she was.

Mom was 21 when I was born. Dad died 4 years later. In between my birth and dad’s death mom bore 3 more full term babies. Two died of complications that would not have even been routine now days. One baby was born when they were living 65 miles from the hospital. The road was and remains truly awful. Mom went into labor and delivered along the way. Dad was probably useless I’d guess!

My daughter who is a nurse and delivers babies tells me that if Mom had known a bit more about what to do that baby could have been saved. But imagine the anger and grief she must have felt. She was angry with her husband (my father) for living so far from medical help when she was full term.

I cannot imagine anything but her mother begging mom to stay in town the last few weeks, but it did not happen.

Then above the anger she had to feel was the absolute grief of losing a beautiful baby. Lots of couples split after those kind of events, but my parents went through it twice.

Mom was was supremely kind. She laughed a lot and really enjoyed life.

When the cancer thing raised it’s ugly head, she took the news with dignity and fortitude. That was in January. She lived down the street from us and I spent a lot of time with her that spring. Both my sister and brother came to visit. Sister was in Africa teaching English. Brother was a state away. Diagnosed in January Mom died in early June.

Mom was a fairly uncomplicated women. She was defiantly low maintenance! She wanted to be an Accountant, something she was totally suited for. College was not affordable, so she took classes from International Correspondence School. She landed a job with the State of Idaho, Health and Welfare department as payroll clerk. Her boss gave her an achievement award, and came to her memorial service.

As you can see I was and am, very proud of my mother and so thankful I was her son. After my father died it was 4 years before she married. There was just the three of us: Mom, my sister who was born a few months before dad died, and me.

It would have been good to have had her a lot longer, but that is not how it worked.

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