de-nile

For 12 bloody years we have been living in denial.

We are so far down the line that we are going to have to live with a daughter, the better to care for her mother, and still there is a constant huge wall of denial.

I get frustrated with the same non-logic logic and questions, I raise my voice in frustration, which proves that I am an ass and that she is right that there is no reason for any of this, after all I have not changed her diaper yet, she reminds me.

So, this is one of those kicking and screaming projects.

She is still sure there is nothing wrong with her, because the Xray did not show any problem. No number of repeating that Xray don't show this disease matter. When I say I have a doctor and a judge who agree, that is not evidence either.

So, I am frustrated, and I am aware that at some point we will simply do what has to be done and deal with the fireworks at that point.

None of this makes it any easier to be a caregiver.

None.