jim again

I have been to see Jim a few times since we returned.

He is not stronger, nor a lot weaker. That is the good news. This morning he was as cranky as I have ever seen him.

“Dot,” (Dot is Jim’s wife) “If you loved me you would shoot me like an old dog.”

“I am not going to jail for you.”

“If I was going to shoot you, I’d have done it a long time ago,” she chuckled.

“Dave,” he said, “I just want to die.’

Today was his 67th birthday as well, and his family had planned a small party for him Saturday afternoon, and Jim was sure too many people would come and he would be tired, and he was unhappy about the whole thing.

“Jim,” I said “There are a lot of people who love you and want to wish you a happy birthday.” That seemed to calm him down.

Tonight when I went over, with a fresh baked loaf of bread and a jar of still warm home made apple sauce, he was in a better mood.

He won’t go easy nor soon. He has misery to go yet, which makes me very sad.

But, he didn't die while I was gone. That would have been awful. Dot told him he had to hang on till I got back. Now she tells him that he has to be there for their 47th wedding anniversary in early January.

I wish him the best, but a life of misery is not the best, durn it all.