friends or family

There was one more funeral that I did not talk about.

The couple had moved to my town a few years ago. I must have greeted them, that was my job, but I have no memory of them at all. He was a retired pastor with fairly advanced Alzheimer’s.

They had a daughter here so I am sure that was the reason they moved here, but they never made a splash any way, and we did not get to know them. That is not a recommendation for us, btw.

But the man died, I saw the name but could not put a face with it. The funeral was in a town 20 miles away where he had some family history.

My guess is that they moved here because of family, for the help they could give. In the process of gaining help from their family, they gave up their friends.

Last week my Bible study group had a potluck after church, as we do regularly. There were 27 of us there. We have been a group for well over a decade and our friendship is deep. The food was extraordinary, with a great variety and just the right amount of almost everything. It was a feast.

We all reveled in the joy, not just of good food, but to be with old and trusted friends. The hostess had tables set up all over the house. Miriam and I ate with two other couples in the office.

Jan graduated from high school with Miriam. We knew her husband from soon after that. Our paths went opposite directions, but now in retirement, we are back in the same town. The other couple, Ray and Betty have been close friends for about 30 years. So these were long term close friends. The whole group fell into that category.

Now, we don’t have family here, but we have this bevy of true and tested friends.

So which is more important? Friends or family? I think the best answer is YES.

Right now we are doing alright here with our friends and with our family a bit further away. We seem to see them quite often, which is truly good, but it is not the same as being there with them. The time will come when we will need to have family closer, and that will mean WE will relocate.

That is how it has to be, I fear, but I will miss the people who have worked and camped and prayed and studied and ate and cared for us all these years.

I will. I will.