the way

I knew there was going to be a party for our 50th wedding anniversary.

The girls told me basically: there will be a party, do not ask, we will not tell beyond that.

The party happened, a couple hundred of family and friends helped us celebrate. Miriam was sharp. All of her brothers and sisters were there (one died the next year).

Without telling me, of course, they asked our friends if they would like to contribute to a “send mom and dad on a cruise” fund. The gifts were not lavish but were substantial and well meant.

Then one of the daughters asked: “Dad, which one of us do you want to go with you on your cruise?” Without thinking at all I answered: “All of you.”

She was astonished at my bravado and I added: “I may not get what I want and that is OK, but you asked me what I want and that is it.”

And they made it happen. The 6 of us went on that cruise -- together. No spouses, no children, just parents and the daughters. It was all the more wonderful because they were all athere. That kind of thing does not happen often. When it does happen, I think we should be ready to grab it by the horns and ride on.

So this spring Linda asked if we could come and stay with Emily for a week while she went to Thailand. Without thinking, I said YES. That was mutually extended to two weeks, and then to three.

Emily will be 15 next month. She will always love me and I her. But she is getting increasingly busy. School demands more of her time, last summer she did not get to come stay with us like she always has. I understood. I am not being crowded out of her love, but her time.

This is part of growing up. That makes these special times so wonderful but there is no guarantee. When the opportunity happens, jump fast! Memory is superb.

Boy friends, college, jobs, career, husbands, children gradually close in making time together less frequent and more precious. It has to be that way. Grandpa cannot hope to compete with any of those, and he should not even try, honestly. Maybe that is why old men sit and silently watch, smiling but watching. They know their proper place in the scheme of things.

Grandson Alan came to stay with us almost a month for two consecutive summers. He came to work and he worked well. He is in college now and in the summer he needs to work to pay for college. We love him as much as ever, but he won’t soon come visit us for that long again, most likely.

So as we are near the end of our time here in Portland with Emily, I feel more than a little bit sad. It may happen again that we get to spend this kind of time with her, but the odds are not good.

I am a very romantic soul, I have lived my life on the romantic level and I would not do it otherwise. My life has been a wonderful symphony of good memories -- mostly. I am so blessed.

And now, to quote Emily, talking about a different subject: “And that is the way it is supposed to be.”